Cartoon Cheers And Smears!
By the Comics Curmudgeon
Barack Obama's campaign team has the right idea when it comes to combating "smears" from his nefarious opponents! We've no business offering suggestions to the people who vanquished Team Clinton, but perhaps that Web page could have been even better if it featured whimsical drawings that illustrate the smear-truth dichotomy. That's right, we're talking about cartoons! Check 'em out, after the jump.
Smear: Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter somehow created a baby with her lesbian partner, thereby bringing shame to the conservative Cheney family.
Truth: In fact, Mary Cheney is just continuing a long family history of same-sex reproduction. As you can see in this chart, Vice President Cheney was actually born of two fathers. At least Mary Cheney's partner is normal-looking, unlike Dick Cheney's freakish mutant Dad #2.
Smear: Millions of feminist Hillary supporters are abandoning the Democratic Party because of the unconscionable way that their chosen candidate was treated by the media and the Democratic establishment.
Truth: Millions of ladies can't get enough of the incredibly handsome John McCain and his patented wooing style! Two wives can't be wrong! Form an orderly line, girls!
Smear: Americans will choose their next president after the two major candidates' political philosophies are revealed during the course of honest campaigning and respectful debate.
Truth: Americans will choose their next president based on taste, after the two major candidates are killed, cooked, and served to the voters. Is the country ready for a gourmet president? Or will they pick the greasy comfort of McCainburgers?
Smear: John McCain's Obama-Jimmy Carter joke was, like all good humor, carefully crafted by a committee that extensively studied what target demographics found amusing, then deployed at precisely the correct moment during an interview so that it looked casual and spontaneous.
Truth: John McCain ripped it off from this political cartoon, where it also wasn't funny.
Smear: NAFTA is an insidious plot by one-worlders to destroy American industry and create a North American Union controlled by the powerful and unresponsive to democratic change.
Truth: NAFTA is apparently some kind of excuse to run down Mexicans in comical hats with an enormous corn-steamroller? And then, of course, comes the cornholing.
Smear: Your Comics Curmudgeon is leaving Wonkette forever!
Truth: Your Comics Curmudgeon is going on vacation and will not have to look at terrible political cartoons, at least for a little while. See you in July, suckers!