Chalk up another win for the Party of Family Values! Yesterday, Illinois state Rep. Nick Sauer resigned from the state lege after Politico reported a former girlfriend had turned Sauer in for posting nude photos of her on a fake Instagram account, and then having sexytime private chats with men who thought they were talking all sexy with her. Yes, shortly after the two of them had started seeing each other, and while he was also seeing other women behind her back. As Henry Kissinger famously stated, "Power is an aphrodisiac," which means maybe Sauer should also be investigated for war crimes.

At least Sauer's resignation statement didn't blame anyone else for his idiocy, although it pointedly didn't take any responsibility, either:

"As a result of the allegations by Kate Kelly, a former girlfriend, I have decided to resign," Sauer wrote in a letter to the Clerk of the House of Representatives. "It is important that the citizens of the 51st District be fully represented. My ability to fulfill my obligations as a State Representative and public servant will be affected by the distraction of addressing these allegations. After speaking with my family, I feel it best to step away from my public responsibilities."

A gentleman always names his accuser, after all, although of course the coverage had already identified Kelly. Also, a Republican gentleman always says he's resigning for the sake of his "family," although in this case neither Sauer nor Kelly is married. Perhaps Sauer was just making clear it was Kelly's allegations that did the trick, because who knows what else may come to light, we speculated wildly.

Kelly filed a complaint with the Office of the Legislative Inspector General saying Sauer had posted the photos on Instagram then catfished men who commented on them:

Nick would use this account to direct message men with my photos to engage in graphic conversations of a sexual nature. The men believed they were communicating with me and Nick shared private details of my life.

Who the hell does that?

In an interview with Politico, as well as in the complaint, Kelly said she and Sauer started dating online in 2016, and that she actually moved from California to Chicago in 2017 to be closer to the putz. It all fell apart earlier this year when she found out he was a dirty cheating dawg.

This summer, Kelly says she found out about the Instagram account:

According to the complaint Kelly filed with the Legislative Inspector General's office, a man previously unknown to Kelly reached out to her on July 12 on her personal Instagram account to inform her "he had been communicating for 4 months with someone pretending" to be Kelly.

The complaint says Kelly's employer helped her determine how long the fake Instagram account had been in use based on when messages were sent, which was close to the time they had started dating.

In her complaint, Kelly writes that Sauer admitted as much. "He came to my house & confessed to catfishing men with my photos for 2 years to at least 8 men. He was unable to provide the names and begged that I let it go," she wrote.

In a statement released to the internet, the entire world wrote, "Ew. EWW!! What an asshole. Seriously. Fuck that guy." When Kelly contacted Instagram, the company immediately took the account down, so that's at least sort of reassuring.

It's not entirely clear Sauer's skeevy behavior broke any laws, but Northwestern University law professor Deborah Tuerkheimer, while carefully not commenting on Sauer's particular case,

said Illinois is among the states that have a "tough revenge porn law" that criminalizes as a felony the nonconsensual distribution of private sexual messages.

Also on the books is "a crime of false impersonation, or pretending to be someone you're not," Tuerkheimer said. "In recent years, in which 'revenge pornography' or consensual image distribution has become a far greater problem, states have had to get up to speed in dealing with the issue."

We looked up the statute, and by golly, it really is "false impersonation," which strikes us as a tad redundant. Is there such a thing as sincere impersonation? Don't be too surprised if Sauer tries to claim he can't be prosecuted for "revenge porn" since he pre-emptively posted the nude pics before Kelly broke up with him. Is there a law against "betrayal of trust porn"? Well IS there?

You will also be amused by these statements on "Strong Leadership" and "Ethical Leadership" from Sauer's now-borked campaign website!

As a fiscal hawk, he looks for the most cost affective [sic] solutions and votes against unnecessary spending. As our State Representative, Nick will have the strength of character and strong will to support measures that will bring back Illinois [...]

Corruption and unethical behavior has plagued Illinois' past, but it does not need to define our future. Nick will work hard to lead by example and make decisions that honor the values of our district and the people he will represent.

Hooray for the Wayback Machine. Sadly, we guess Illinois will never get brought back again from wherever Sauer thinks it may have wandered off to. Maybe Ashley Madison.

Several commenters on the Politico story were quick to explain that a Lady does not share nude photos, so what did she expect, huh? Dear readers, you'll be glad to know they all got yelled at. So there's a silver lining for you!

No word yet on whether Mr. Sauer has yet been offered a job with the Trump 2020 campaign.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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