CBS News: Now with More Perky!

TIME reports that Katie Couric has been approached about using her pert behind to fill the CBS Evening News anchor seat, a move we can only applaud. It's about time that the national evening news more resembled the comforting, cheerful pablum that makes our mornings so delightfully numb. We can kinda hear her now: "Social security. . . blah blah. . .Iraq killings . . . blah blah. . .This kitten got stuck in a tree! And Senator Bob Dole is 82 years young!" And who knows how she'll cover natural disasters: "And I actually called our newsdesk on Saturday and said: 'I know that we have this tsunami going on, and--and all these people, but is it true that they broke up?'"

Oh, wait. . . that already happened.

Goodbye, Dan. Hello, Katie? [TIME]


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