Celebrities Who Got Off Easy For Serious Crimes! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 6, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

The nightmare Georgia scenario. And it's ... a narrow Democratic win making the GOP go insane! (Okay, at 11:49 p.m. yestertoday, it looks GREAT! DID IT HOLD????) Anyway, I'd posit that the nightmare Georgia scenario is a narrow GOP win, because of how they suck. — Eric Boehlert at PressRun

Meet your new Senate chairs, heart hug emoji face! (Politico)

As we gear up for today's excruciation debacle, a blast from the past, 30 years ago today.

Oh poor Mike Pence whatever will he do today. — AP

Newly elected Fulton County, Georgia, DA Fani Willis is investigating Trump's perfect phone call where he demanded Georgia SOS Brad Raffensperger "find" him 11,780 more votes. (New York Daily News)

IMPEACH. — John Nichols at The Nation

Yet another really fabulous person whose newsletter is intriguing, Ryan Dark White is the guy from whom Trump attorney Lin Wood sourced his claim that Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is a child trafficker. He is really something. He also would like a pardon, because in addition to knowing that the Deep State has put the Voice of God into an actual machine, he also did some crimes. — Daily Beast

Republicans really enjoying their favorite new hobby, coups. (Daily Kos)

John Fetterman talks to WaPo about Pennsylvania Republicans' refusal to seat a Democrat in the Senate for reasons. — Washington Post

This is all fine.

This nurse's rant about her fucking parents' COVID denialism, poor fucking nurse. (Cassie at Two Nurses Talking Substack)

The fact that this rural hospital was able to use up its vaccines before they went bad is great news, and yeoman's service, and Jesus Christ. (LA Times)

Hello, guess who is never flying again? "How toxic fumes seep into the air you breathe on planes." JET FUEL CARBON MONOXIDE TO THE POINT THAT THE PILOTS PASS OUT, HUNDREDS OF TIMES A YEAR, AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU IT EVEN HAPPENED. — LA Times

Lisa Montgomery, the woman Trump wants to execute this week, well, this is an awful fucking story about her years of being gangraped and tortured by her parents and their pals, starting when she was a very small child, so maybe don't read it. (Guardian)

Let's change the subject, my god my god.

You can skip the first five paragraphs of A Dandy's Guide to Decadent Self-Isolation, dude is a terrible throat-clearer who needs an editor. But then, enjoy! I shall expect you all to have ship's bathtubs by next weekend at latest! — Paris Review

I ... what? Helen Viola Jackson, believed to be the last widow of a Civil War veteran, has died at 101. He was 93 when they married, and she 17. This story's fairly nuts, in a mild and kindhearted and respectable way. (People)

Since the internet is on beans this week, this is how I do my great northern white beans, oh look, I just made a pot today. (Our Best Bites)

There, now we are all FULL OF BEANS!

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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