OAN Idiot Chanel Rion Says Biden Is 'Groomer-In-Chief,' Lots Of Other Idiot Words Too

Conspiracy theories
OAN Idiot Chanel Rion Says Biden Is 'Groomer-In-Chief,' Lots Of Other Idiot Words Too

It seems almost cruel to make fun of One America News at this point on a national website. Hell, they've been kicked off so many platforms, kinda feels like breaking into an old folks home and knocking Nana off her chair while she's doing a puppet show for her friends.

But shit, George Soros doesn't pay Wonkette to be nice. Or for anything. He ought to start paying us.

Anyway, Chanel Rion, y'all remember her jackass? We used to make fun of her on the regular back when Donald Trump was in the White House and they let any old OAN mouthbreather into the press room. She's the one who used to get a serious journalist look on her face and ask Trump if the term "Chinese food" was racist.

Her internet bio says she "has been frequently described as one of Hillary Clinton's 'worst nightmares'." No really it says that.

Her website says she is the author of a popular mystery book series for girls that is totally different from other mystery books for girls, which are full of "manophobia, hatred, gender-confusion and blame." Wonkette investigated these books, and ... well, we couldn't find them.

She was homeschooled. :(

But about all that manophobia, hatred, gender confusion and blame! Rion went on her OAN show, which exists, and had some real fightin' words for Joe Biden, AKA the "groomer-in-chief," and also a bunch more fightin' words for transgender people and trans kids and a whole bunch of other stuff. It was exactly the kind of stream-of-consciousness babbling you'd expect from a journalist as esteemed as Rion.

CHANEL RION: The reality is, trans activists pushing gender mutilation on children are aiding and abetting in crimes against humanity.

Wow, if somebody was doing that, it sure would be bad!

RION: And if the trans movement is about normalizing child mutilation, the trans movement belongs in the eternal flames of hell!

Good thing there's no "normalize child mutilation" movement out there.

RION: Why would the president of the United States support such a radical agenda? It's easy to say, like all the other big issues of the day, he's just following orders, he's the whipping boy of Obama and AOC.

Is that what people say?

RION: But in this case, it's even more simple. Before Biden became the masterpiece in senility he is today, he was a bona fide creep, a class A pervert. Watching this week's clips of the ignored dementia patient wandering around in the shadow of a shadow government King Hussein Obama,

"Wandering around in the shadow of a shadow government King Hussein Obama." Just want to emphasize that a human said that with their mouth. She's also trying to make the hashtag #ShadowGovKing happen on Twitter.

RION: it's tempting to feel sorry for old Joe. Don't. Your sympathy is grounded in your remnant memories of sweet old grandpa. Joe Biden isn't your sweet old grandpa. Everyone gets old, even perverts.

Even perverts.

RION: Spare him your ounce of sympathy, if only in honor of his victims!

We're pretending Joe Biden has "victims" now, everybody spare Joe Biden your ounce of sympathy!

At this point Rion goes on a tirade about Tara Reade and far-right conspiracy theories about things that allegedly appear in Ashley Biden's stolen diary, and "Biden's uncomfortable fascination with the hair and necks of women and children." All this is somehow supposed to be worse than the fact that the previous president has been accused of rape, sexual assault or harassment by too many people to count on your fingers and toes.

Which brings her to call Joe Biden a name she wouldn't have called him a year ago because a year ago wingnuts hadn't made up this "groomer" smear yet:

RION: Biden is the groomer-in-chief. He's open to the language of fellow groomers, but sympathy for groomers only enable them further. Look at their newly nominated Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, America's queen of child porn apologists.

Oh now she's the "queen." Chanel Rion has studied sentencing practices and determined based on her Do Your Own Research that Ketanji Brown Jackson is the "queen of child porn apologists."

We mentioned Rion was homeschooled, yeah?

Rion word salads a while longer about her argument, which we think is that Biden and the trans activists want to do female genital mutilation to children, it's beyond parody, and then comes to her big conclusion:

RION: Don't be fooled by their wordplay. Their true motive isn't about protecting the gender identities of children. This is about satisfying their own warped perversions.


RION: And if you want to take it a layer deeper, it's about canceling reproduction.


RION: This is population control. Sterilize your children, abort your babies, discourage nuclear families, and encourage non-reproducing unions.


RION: Don't let them get away with this. Don't let them get away with terms like gender-affirming health care for children. Call it what it is: gender mutilation and child abuse illegal under current US law.


RION: Don't give them an inch in the language wars. As this issue illustrates, lose the language war, lose our children. And that's my opening argument.

Madam, the Arby's is down the street if you need to talk to somebody.

So, class, what have we learned today? We are not entirely sure. But we listened to Chanel Rion's free speech and that is a thing that happened, the end.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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