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Today in "Who's Not Being a Giant Dumbfuck about Pot Now?" we present to you ... Charles Krauthammer. Yes, the good doctor (he's a Harvard trained psychiatrist, ya know) went on Bill O'Reilly's terrible show sometime recently and the two began a spirited discussion on the Seattle Hempfest where cops not only handed out munch-tastic Doritos and cleverly titled "here's how much pot you can have" literature, they did not arrest a single person! But then things got all interesting and shit when Krauthammer began to opine about how things would be in a Krauthammer NeoCon Stoner World:


If I were starting a society from scratch, I would outlaw alcohol and allow marijuana, conservative columnist and pundit Charles Krauthammer said on the O’Reilly Factor Tuesday.

To wit O'Reilly began screaming "SHUT UP SHUT UP! I would NEVER live in that place you pinhead! If I can't get two wines in a gal I'd never get to the falafel shower sex!" Or something like that.

Charles Krauthammer then went on to explain that no really, pot is not all that bad, it's not like abortion or anything, because just when he has us thinking, huh, a lucid moment from that corpse looking dude, he has to remind us that no, he is still a bloodthirsty neocon warmongering shitbag full of lies, and we wouldn't wanna live in his world even for free pot:

Look, marijuana is not the worst thing in the world. There’s a lot worse, there are harder drugs, there is alcoholism, there’s abortion, the crime, a lot of other stuff."

Krauthammer continues to screw up all his logical reasoning and whatnot with a pre-fucked-up-endgame to lawfully allowing adults to smoke weed if they want to, by explaining a terrible thing no one is proposing: letting the kiddos get high.

The worst thing about a stoned child is they’re missing out on the periods of learning — social and moral and educational. They lose thousands of hours of their lives when they need to be developing. And that’s what you lose with marijuana.

However, the best thing about a stoned child would be how they would sit and watch tv for thousands of hours and leave us alone and not be all back-talky and obnoxious. But no one is saying we should do that, so just shut the fuck up Charles Krauthammer.

Oh, and what's all this now?  At the same time Charles Krauthammer is standing up for legalization in his own perfectly rational world where pot is okay and alcohol is like abortion, he busts out an article straight up slamming Obamz for letting Eric Holder talk about making non-violent weed offenses less jail-timey. Because if there is one thing Charles Krauthammer can't stand, it's missing an opportunity to say that President Obama is wrong about a thing that Charles Krauthammer actually thinks is right.

Nevermind, Charles Krauthammer still sucks.

[The Daily Caller / Think Progress]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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