Cheerio, Chum: Tony Blair Finally Quits

Tony Blair, 1973. - WonketteAfter 10 weird and ultimately pathetic years, UK Prime Minister Tony Blair is stepping down. Like his role model, Mick Jagger, Blair is the ultimate sellout and opportunist. He never even cared about which party he might join -- only that he would somehow become prime minister. This explains how he was Bill Clinton's "Third Way" BFF until George W. Bush squirmed into the White House, at which point Blair immediately turned into dingbat neocon.

Let's give Tony a nice big "Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish," after the jump.

For nearly a year, the British have been pleading with Blair to quit. But he was more concerned about serving a full decade than doing anything for his fellow citizens, so he dragged it out as long as possible -- even after Labour was clobbered in Scotland during last week's midterms and treaded water everywhere else.

Blair leaves 10 Downing St. on June 27, at which point Margaret Thatcher will rise from the dead and revive the British Empire.

Blair leaves a country that is much more like the United States than it was a decade ago: The people are now obese and diabetic, all the idiots run around squawking about Muslims, the BBC has been forced to dumb down its programming for the new halfwit Brit, and millions of surveillance cameras follow every person's every move -- mostly staggering drunk down the street and vomiting curry.

On the plus side, absolutely nobody believes in God (except the Muslims) and churches are rented out to new-age groups. This reflects the influence of Blair's wife, Cherie, who is a witch.

Blair to stand down on June 27 [Guardian]


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