She seems genuinely nice. Can we replace the entire Trump family with her?

Here's a story involving Donald Trump and Twitter that, for a change, doesn't involve any accidental diplomatic crises or screaming at beloved civil rights icons or even popular entertainers, so yay.

On Monday, Trump was doing some of his important president-elect work, retweeting compliments people had sent out about him and his family and what terrific people they are, when he passed along this very nice comment that he thought was about his daughter, who is smokin' hot and whom he'd definitely date if they weren't related:

Funny thing, though: The @Ivanka there is actually not his daughter; she is a nice woman in Brighton, England, named Ivanka Majic, and before you start getting ideas, Mr. Trump, she is married, OK? Ms. Majic and her husband woke up to a whole bunch of calls from reporters wanting to know what she thought of the American president-elect mixing her up with his own daughter, whose Twitter handle is actually @IvankaTrump.

"I came downstairs to check my phone and I had so many notifications," she told the BBC. "It's very unusual to be speaking to both ITV and the BBC 45 minutes into your day."

She said that she's always gotten a few misdirected Tweets, but nothing like the deluge after That Man mistakenly retweeted her name:

"Without Donald Trump it's a steady simmer of mentions," she said. "I am kind of like that @johnlewis bloke but John Lewis is probably nicer to be associated with."

We'd have to agree! But she figured, what the hey, if I've got his attention, I may as well do something about it, eh? So she replied:

Not that she really had the Great Man's attention; the man has no attention span unless he's talking about himself, and climate change is definitely not interesting to him. Maybe if they renamed CO2 "Clinton Gas," then he'd want to reduce it. In any case, at least Ivanka Majic and Ivanka Trump may have that much in common: an interest in fighting climate change that will have absolutely no influence on President Trump, who happens to know that climate change is a plot made up by the Heathen Chinee to ruin America's economy.

Still, Ivanka Majic seems like a remarkably nice person for someone whose Twitter machine is all clogged up with doofuses shouting "MAGA" all the time, as this brief BBC interview makes clear.

It turns out that "Ivanka" is really "an incredibly boring and popular Slavic girls name," says Ms. Majic. In addition to Donald Trump's daughter, she says, "The other one I get confused with is an Hungarian concrete company called Ivanka concrete." We checked them out, and it looks like they do solid work:

Yooge. Solid. Probably pays its bills.

So is it worth the trouble?

"I'm still undecided about whether to change my username. I don't use Twitter very much partly as a result as having so many mentions. Tweets from normal people get lost in the mix."

"I'm someone who has used twitter since 2007. A new thing comes along and you create a username never thinking that one day Ivanka Trump's dad will be President."

With all the new followers she's gotten as a result of this confusion, here's hoping she at least hears from a few more normal people, a group decidedly outside the TrumpFan profile.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC

How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc