According to what will surely be an utterly insane Fox News documentary (Dick Cheney: No Retreat is the serious, no-foolin' name), Vice President Gargamel disagreed with Bush's decision to remove his buddy Donald Rumsfeld as Defense Secretary. Because Don was doing such a great job with the war, and oh, also because Don is the only reason Dick has reached his current position of ridiculous power. "I wouldn't be where I am today if it hadn't been for what Don Rumsfeld was willing to do," Cheney told Fox, just in case we'd all forgotten how much we hate Don Rumsfeld. But, uh, we're kinda confused. Because didn't Rummy voluntarily resign?

The way we remember it, Rummy wrote a letter to the president tendering his resignation the day before the midterm elections (and we should be remembering this accurately, because we only just learned about it in August). And then Bush thought it would be a totally wicked joke to not accept the resignation until the day after the GOP lost both houses of Congress.

So maybe Dick actually thinks the president should've refused to accept the resignation? Like he did the first time Don offered to quit? Or maybe he's just inventing his own version of what happened because that's pretty much second nature to him now? Or maybe -- just maybe -- he's still so broken-hearted about the end of his good friend's career that he can't even bear to think it was Don's choice. Maybe Cheney's robot heart was actually programmed to, once in a while, feel sad.

They've been BFF for such a long time! Just listen to Rumsfeld reminisce about a skin-crawling vacation they took together back in the Hoover administration or something:

"We did," Rumsfeld confirmed for FOX News. "We got in a, in a line at an airport and packed a, a swimming suit and we went down south. And, and the four of us, hah, went on a vacation. Uh, you know, there's a life outside of Washington."

They only packed one swimming suit?!

(Also: kudos to the Fox News web team for transcribing all those obnoxious Rummy verbal tics!)

Dick Cheney Disagreed With President Bush Over Donald Rumsfeld Dismissal [Fox]


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