Cheney Understands ... Sometimes You Just Need To Strangle the Bitch

Thanks, Sparkle Pony! - WonketteRemember Don Sherwood, the 65-year-old Pennsylvania congressman who got busted for reportedly trying to strangle this young gal he was fucking?

Dick Cheney raised $180,000 for the Pennsylvania Strangler at a fundraiser held in some mansion in Centermoreland Township last month. Bush even did one of those "Vote for the Strangler" phone messages.

Democrat Chris Carney is leading in the race, mostly because of Sherwood's bizarre sex scandal.

"Sherwood Denies Choking Woman" was the first hilarious headline in the Wilkes-Barre Times Leader. The next day's headline is just as good: "Republicans rallying to help Sherwood get past report." More fun, after the jump.

It was eventually revealed that Sherwood started fucking the girl shortly after he came to Washington -- when she was just 23. He picked her up at some Young Republicans party.

The strangling incident happened last May, reportedly because Sherwood was pissed off that she was late getting to his apartment, so during a "back rub" he choked her.

She ran into the bathroom, locked the door and called 911 from her cell phone.

Sherwood managed to quiet the scandal by buying off the girl, who sued him for $5.5 million and accused of him of regularly beating the crap out of her. He bravely denied the charges, although he eventually admitted the adulterous affair.

They reached a private settlement and the police made no arrests. So, other than the claims of psychotic violence, it's not much different from the Foley Scandal. Except Foley had to resign, while Sherwood is propped up by Cheney and Bush. Sherwood also gets rave reviews from the Christian Coalition, American Conservative Union and American Family Association, natch.

An old and married Republican car dealer gets elected to Congress, immediately picks up a young thing from the Young Republicans, fucks and (allegedly) beats her for five or six years with impunity, then goes into some insane rage one night and (allegedly) tries to strangle her. What would you call that?

Those who guessed "a political smear" get a gold star, because that's exactly what Sherwood called it!

Cheney raises cash for Sherwood [Scranton Times Tribune]

Congressman Don Sherwood Choking Scandal [Outside the Beltway]

Don Sherwood Lawsuit Coverage [Scranton Times Tribune]

What's It About Pennsylvania Republicans [Princess Sparkle Pony]


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