Chicken Menace Spreads To American Cities
Here is the most important political news you will read all week: people are raising chickens these days, for eggs and for the purposes of annoying their neighbors. Chickens also make disgusting gloppy poops that are good for fertilizing your filthy organic gardens, and for "decorating" your back steps so that when you go out barefoot onto the lawn you are reminded why Jesus invented shoes.
Chickens are stupid and awful creatures, and people who raise them in the hopes of having a "new family pet" are just deranged, but on the plus side a good sturdy egg with a thick shell, a proper orange yolk, and a robust white that doesn't run all over the frying pan like water is a lovely thing indeed.
So, Americans, it is your Duty to put a chicken in a little house in your back yard, or in your apartment or wherever. Put one in your purse and take it shopping on Rodeo Drive, like Paris Hilton! When your neighbors complain, get on the goddamn Twitter and start a revolution and tell all your Facebook friends to wear chicken feathers in Solidarity. This is how political change happens.
Backyard chickens on the rise, despite neighbors' clucks [Los Angeles Times]