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Child Rape Apologist Tucker Carlson Said Gross Things About Miss Teen USAs

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This has not been a good week for Fox News. There was the Jane Mayer article in the New Yorker about how the station is deeply in cahoots with Donald J. Trump to the point of being obvious propaganda. There was Judge Jeanine Pirro trying to suggest that the fact that Rep. Ilhan Omar wears a hijab means that she is devoted to Sharia Law and thus opposes the Constitution (which is particularly interesting in light of the fact that Pirro is herself a Catholic, and for many years the line on Catholics was that they were too loyal to the Pope to be loyal to America). Then there was Tucker. Tucker being worshiped by white supremacists, Tucker defending child rapist Warren Jeffs, Tucker saying a bunch of racist shit, Tucker saying he wanted a racist president, etc. etc.

All the controversy has led to many advertisers deciding that they may not want their brands associated with such people. Several have decided to take their dollars elsewhere. Given that the MyPillow guy cannot singlehandedly support the station on his own, Fox will be having a special emergency pitch meeting to Madison Avenue executives in hopes of keeping more of the advertisers they still have and perhaps reaching new ones. They plan to highlight the "real news" portion of their programming, which at this point is close to non-existent, as well as the fact that they are the most watched cable news network in the nation.

They may have a little trouble doing that, given that there has been yet another dump of Tucker Carlson's comments from the Bubba The Love Sponge show -- in which he, once again, appears to get very excited about the prospect of sex with underage girls.

The year was 2007, and a young lady named Caitlin Upton had just made a damn fool of herself on national television when, in the Miss Teen USA pageant, she answered a question in a not-very-smart way.


Please to recall:

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question youtu.be

The contestant from South Carolina was asked

"Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

She answered:

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children.

Yes, it was a stupid answer. But may I just point out that it was also a stupid question? Seriously! What was the ideal answer to that question even supposed to be? More geography classes? That perhaps those people are good at other things but just happen to suck at maps? This is not the point, but it is something that has always bothered me. I don't know. I don't like watching people make fools of themselves unless they're mean. It brings me no joy.

But I digress.

Following the media circus around this poor girl's stupid answer, Tucker Carlson had some gross things to say about her (and about Mario Lopez) on the Bubba the Love Sponge show.

The recordings were unearthed by Media Matters researchers, and published by NowThisNews:

In the audio recordings, Tucker explained that he thought it was "appealing" that Upton was so "dumb," wondering whether it would be "good or bad" to have a wife that stupid. One might argue that Carlson ended up marrying someone far less intelligent, because what kind of a person would be stupid enough to get hitched to an asshole like that?

He also went on a whole spiel about how Mario Lopez probably slept with her, even though she was probably underage, noting that -- like James Brown -- those rules don't apply to him. Upton was, in fact, 18 at the time, but Carlson and the hosts suggested that she could have been 16 or 17.

"She's like, she's vulnerable. She's like a wounded gazelle, separated from the herd," he said, explaining why he thought Lopez would have slept with her after the show.

What a class act! It's hardly surprising that he is such a big fan of Donald Trump, who bragged about walking around the Miss Teen USA locker room in order to stare at naked underage girls when he owned the pageant.

Of course, the thing with Tucker Carlson is that these statements in his past are not significantly creepier or more appalling than the things he says today. Why, just yesterday, Carlson told a woman who was refusing to have children due to concerns about the environment and climate change that she'd be "happier" if she did have children. Which is quite an assumption to make! He also insisted that Media Matters was funded by George Soros, and whined about how the organization's entire purpose is to "punish" critics of the Democratic Party -- by daring to quote them verbatim.

So, just to be clear -- Tucker Carlson is allowed to criticize the Democratic Party, he is allowed to criticize the Left, but no one is allowed to criticize him by ... quoting him verbatim. That is just a bridge too far! It's almost as if the Left doesn't realize that there is a whole subsection in the Constitution about how only conservatives have a right to free speech or a right to criticize others, and how they are allowed to say anything they want without fear of criticism from anyone else. And also without fear of anyone quoting them word-for-word.

Hopefully for Fox, potential advertisers understand that this is how the Constitution works, and won't hold any of these statements against the station during their pitch meeting today.

[NowThis]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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