Oh look, it's America, the nation of 11-year-old fat kids who lack the intellectual capacity to process anything beyond comic books. Have you heard about the greatest work of cinematic art in history,300 Explosions With Batman and Joker? It's the most "mature" of this year's crop of 500 fucking movies about comic books, according to Critics who haven't seen a film made for grownups since about 1978, when the last ones were produced.

Anyway, here's your comic books about the presidential campaign. Everything is either based on a comic book, or must be adaptedinto a comicbook, because anything else would be "elitist" and require "being at least as emotionally developed as a 12-year-old." [IDW Publishing/AP]