Children of the Con


Every summer, the NY Times reports, America's best and brightest interns come to the Heritage Foundation, where they "devote brown bag lunches to the free market theories of Friedrich von Hayek" and "[call] for low taxes, strong defense and dorm rooms with a view." Above, a photo of four of them. Below, the conversation we're pretty sure took place in the moments before the camera snapped.

GIRL IN PINK: Seriously, this is the Norma Zindahl Intern Lounge? It's so third-quintile.

PHOTOGRAPHER: OK, you on the right. Can you give me something that says "Bloodthirsty but witty metrosexual"?

GUY ON RIGHT: How 'bout this? I call it: "If liberals ruled the world, we'd be celebrating the march of Saddam's rape-rooms right now!"

PHOTOGRAPHER: Nice! Now, really sell it with the sassy eyebrows! And add a hint of "American military power is the Cialis of democracy."

GIRL IN PINK: I want to go shopping. For ideas!

PHOTOGRAPHER: You in the back -- I want something Culture of Life-ish. No, that just looks like your O-face. Give me the full Schiavo.

GIRL IN PINK: Do you guys think von Hayek makes me look too assy?

PHOTOGRAPHER: OK, now you in the front. Pretend you're advocating budget cuts for women and infant nutrition programs. OK, good. Now dial up the callow condescension! Remember, you're rescuing these lazy whores from the cycle of protein! That's it, that's it, beautiful!


GIRL IN PINK: Whew! Spreading the virtues of free market enterprise is way harder than a real job. Can we take a break now?

Next Generation of Conservatives [NY Times]


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