Christian Dating Site Hopes To Help Alt-Right Creeps Find The Tradwife Of Their Dreams
Hey! Are you tired of online dating? Does it seem like all the women you meet on there are actual human beings with thoughts and feelings and interests beyond what to make you for dinner every night? Or, if you're a woman, are you tired of meeting normal men who are looking for an equal partner rather than a doormat instead of creepy misogynists who believe Jesus wants them to control you?
Are you also perhaps frightened that if you stay single any longer ... a Black man dressed as a clown is going to come after you with a hatchet?
Okay, probably not. But now there is a dating site for the kinds of incels and aspiring Stepford Wives who would feel that way. Dominion Dating! Which, for real, uses stock footage of a scary Black clown with a hatchet to represent the horrors of single life. Among ... other things.
Our generation is lost and lonely, barren and bitter. The Bible says it's not good for men to be alone. We're created by God for divine purpose, to be fruitful and multiply and take dominion. [cue dramatic violins!]
"I'm Brandon Durham, founder of Dominion Dating. Our goal is to create the best network of Christian singles in the world." [cue trade school commercial techno]
We believe in pursuing marriage locally. However, with so many Christians confused [picture of evil feminist woman proposing to her soy boy boyfriend] on marriage, many singles must look beyond for a godly spouse. Conventional dating sites fail to deliver [Feminist swamp! Soyboy swamp!] Dominion Dating is dramatically different. We go the distance to connect godly singles. [More techno!]
While Dominion Dating has not actually launched and is currently in the crowdfunding phase, the site promises over 1000 Doctrinally Sound, Marriage-Ready Christian singles already. Sure, they haven't signed up for the site, because you actually cannot do that yet, but why not.
The site also includes some fake testimonials that they made up themselves.
Like this one from Josh from California, who is not a real person.
(Not a real endorsement) "I'm pumped about Dominion Dating. I've tried other sites, and it's proven extremely difficult to find other likeminded marriage prospects."
And this one from Lucy in Texas, who is also not a real person.
(Not a real endorsement) "I'm a little bit nervous about online dating, but I really appreciate Dominion Dating going the extra mile to keep us safe from creeps! I'll be there in August!"
Those not-real endorsements sure are compelling.
The site isn't just for any Christians, of course, only "doctrinally sound" Christians who believe that women should be subordinate to men and not any feminists or soy boys. Which seems to suggest it's actually just for men who are tired of competing with men they believe must be "soy boys" on dating sites only to discover that all of the women on there are "feminists." Of course, when they say feminists, they're not talking about actual feminist activists so much as "pretty much any normal human woman who is not a Duggar."
Why do I say that? Because you don't really hear women, even alt-right women, talking about "soy boys" all that much. It's a term fairly exclusively used by alt-right men whose personal manhood is threatened by other men being secure in their own.
Before one signs up, one must get a reference from one's pastor and sign a member's agreement that is meant to repel not just heathens but also "culturally-conformed Christians" who are relatively normal people.
Our networking focus is pastors, churches & communities committed to biblical marriage & sexuality. Our aim is to increase faithful tribes, while calling Big Eva's woke tribes &feminists-in-denial to repentance!
Our members agreement attracts the right people and repels the rest! It's robust, deeply biblical, and down-right offensive to the masses of culturally-conformed Christians who flood most dating sites!
We carefully filter frauds, creeps & those not yet ready to pursue biblical marriage. Our screening process requires a verified pastoral reference, from a doctrinally-sound church. We catch the "catfish" and only keep the "keepers!"
Part one of the members agreement not only requires prospective members to declare their great love of Jesus, but their commitment to women's subordination.
We affirm male headship as normative in the spheres of family, church, civil governance, and society-at-large, believing that God has endowed men with real, limited authority to govern well for the good of mankind and the glory of God.
We affirm God's normative plan for women to exercise dominion in the home as homemaker and helpmate, in glad submission to a husband. We recognize the necessity, at times, for women to seek employment outside the home, but reject "careerism" as normative for women.
They also must agree that God doesn't want anyone to put off getting married to do silly modern things like "go to college" or experience life.
We affirm what God's Word & our own bodies (sex drive) tell us; that marriage should not be unduly postponed for modern pursuits such as educational attainment or "life experience." We view dating as an intentional path towards marriage, and reject the cultural idea of "casual dating."
Who needs to be educated when you can just pop out babies for Jesus?
The site will also require members to abstain from sex before marriage.
We commit to pursuing sexual purity as we prepare for marriage. This includes abstaining from acts of fornication, watching pornography, dressing sensually or immodestly, and entertaining lustful thoughts. We will daily fight temptation according to God's Word, through confession to God & accountability to local church family, unto repentance & holiness.
That should not be hard as it seems as though the site is primarily geared towards male Christian incels. The site also has an active Gab profile, so it's fairly clear who they're targeting here.
Now, it would be very easy to just make fun of this terrible site and their commitment to providing insecure alt-right men with the tradwives of their dreams, but this site, like the many failed sites and apps for unfuckable Trump supporters, is really doing us all a favor here by weeding these people out of the dating pool. Not just for romantic reasons, but for our own safety as well, as it seems almost specifically designed to attract the men most likely to murder you on a Tinder date.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse