The next big thing


[contextly_sidebar id="KjE6qP8pvJopekvw3woM6lyNQmSXl2s8"]Hi, guys, um, it's time for your Wednesday Wonkette Dance Party, where we shuffle our iTunes and post the songs and you dance to them, but you probably won't even want to listen once you've heard The Next Hottest thing. Her name is MH Wiebe, she's from Calgary (so she probably Just The Tipped it with Ted Cruz in her formative years), she is a gangsta rapper, and she is a mommy. Oh, and she hates the transgenders, ESPECIALLY when they need to do a whiz or drop the kids off at the pool. Like, she can't even drop her own kids off at the pool, she's so mad.

This mommy rapper has these bangin' beats to share in her rap hop tune "Gender Bender," which probably will win the "rap battle" contest at this year's Calgary Stampede, if she's even allowed to enter, due to how she probably wins every year already and it's not fair to the other competitors.

It has words:

Are there six, perhaps, thirteen, in essence

Children in Alberta who switch gender pretense

No ...

OK, those are some words. So are these:

This is just a fender bender all over sex and gender ...

Well that at least rhymes. She's also pretty sure that animals in the wild don't do any transgender funny business out in the forest, which shows what she knows. To this lady's kids we just want to let you know: It Gets Better.

All right, now let's all bleach our brains, spin the Wheel Of iTunes and see what comes up. Mostly a lovely mix, except we have NO IDEA how that annoying Squeeze song ended up there. Fuck that.

These are the songs:

  1. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - "Boring Fountain"
  2. Béla Fleck - "The Over Grown Waltz"
  3. Squeeze - "Tempted"
  4. Chatham County Line - "Tear Down The Grand Ole Opry" (John Hartford cover, live at Daytrotter)
  5. Garth Brooks - "People Loving People"
  6. Kings Of Leon - "Molly's Chambers"
  7. The Cranberries - "Yeats' Grave"
  8. Ol' Dirty Bastard feat. Ghostface Killah - "Back In The Air"
  9. The Rolling Stones - "You Got The Silver" (from the Let It Bleed outtakes)
  10. alt-J (∆) - "Matilda"

This is the music:

This is the part where you say what you're listening to in the comments, which are not allowed, or maybe you just shut up and don't do that, we're not the boss of you. (Yes we are.)

[RawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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