Christian Prophets Who Predicted Trump Win Still Pretty Sure They Were Right

2020 presidential election

Back in October, thousands of "special ops" angels swung by pink-haired Christian Prophetess Kat Kerr's place, wearing their best red, white and blue gowns, to tell her that Donald Trump was going to get a second term in office. That no matter what all of the liberals and the fake news and everyone says, no matter how badly we want to turn the United States into a "third world country" where we all have to live like there is a COVID-19 pandemic for the rest of our lives, Trump was going to be re-elected and that would not happen.

Kerr explained:

We in America are the land of the brave, the free, and the filled with God. And I can tell you that whole event was filled with the presence of God. And yes, there were 1,000 angels waiting. You know who these angels were? I could see them sitting all up in the upper stands and everything, in the seats, and they were white—they just glow with the glory of God. But they actually were wearing red, white, and blue robes.

And the Holy Spirit said, 'These angels are special ops angels that were sent from Heaven back in 2016 to fight on behalf of America, on our president, on his administration, God's plans that he has for this country.' And they were there to be sent out again right now. And we all did that. It was very powerful to see them. They shoot past us like beams of light, and they were very powerful beings.

Yes, special ops angels.


Kerr was not the only prophetess or prophet God promised a second Trump term to. Pat Robertson was told not only that Trump would get four more years, but also that in five years, a giant asteroid would hit the earth. Some guy who claims he has a genetic mutation that allows him to predict election results was very sure that Trump would secure 279 electoral votes.

Just a few days ago days ago, Trump spiritual adviser/former Benny Hinn sidekick Paula White did battle with the "demonic confederacies" that wanted Trump to lose and asked for help from all of the angels in Africa (???), and then declared victory.

Christian prophet Jeremiah Johnson had a dream that he and fellow prophet Lou Engle went to the World Series together, which he later realized was a prophecy that the Los Angeles Dodgers would win the World Series, that Amy Coney Barrett would win a seat on the Supreme Court and that Donald Trump would be president. He told Engle about this and then told Engle that after that happens, it was his job to bring a million women to DC so they could be witnesses to the loss of their reproductive rights.

"Now the final one, Donald J. Trump being reelected, has yet to happen. I believe it will. I told Lou that if all three of these things happened, it would be assigned to him that he was to call 1 million women to the Mall in Washington, D.C., to see Roe v. Wade overturned in America."

Oh.

Get it, because "Jeremiah Johnson?" Giphy


That was not the only dream Jeremiah Johnson had. He also had a dream that he had to take a midterm he hadn't studied for and then realized he was naked. (ALLEGEDLY) Then he had another dream that Trump was running a race ...

And about 100 yards from the finish, he tripped and fell down and he could not get up, the crowd was spitting on him, they were jeering at him, and suddenly, two older women who I knew were baby boomers, somehow made their way through the crowd and supernaturally lifted Donald Trump up and helped him get to the finish. I believe God is calling on Baby Boomers in this nation to take your stand and believe with me that the best is yet to come.

A brief aside — Hi Mom! If you are not too busy not believing in God, telling me about how I need to watch a documentary on Tupac Shakur's stepdad's Black Panther acupuncture clinic and then also tell other people to watch it and being super mad that we don't have single payer health care, this guy would like you to levitate Donald Trump! For Jesus!

Michele Bachmann, who apparently is also a prophet now, said on election night that God sealed the election and that Trump would win.

Alas! Absolutely none of that happened. Trump lost.

Or did he? Because several of the prophets who predicted his win are saying there is still a chance he will be reelected.

Jim Carrey Chance GIF Giphy

"The rocks are about to move and Trump will be President no matter what you hear," Kat Kerr said, absolutely sure that the angels she saw did not come from England or France or Cambodia or Liberia or Chile or one of the other 89,000 countries with red, white and blue flags.

It will start with a phone call and I can tell you, you will be shocked to see how much exposure comes from that, but Trump will win, He will be President of the United States. He will sit in that office for four more years and God will have His way in this country.

Jeremiah Johnson, the one who wants our moms to play Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board with a sweaty Donald Trump is very sure that Trump did, in fact, win the election.

Either a lying spirit has filled the mouths of numerous trusted prophetic voices in America or Donald J. Trump really has won the Presidency and we are witnessing a diabolical and evil plan unfold to steal the Election. I believe with all my heart that the latter is true.

You read that correctly.

Donald J. Trump won the 2020 election last night and the chorus of prophets who saw into the future and prophesied it were ACCURATE.

They should not apologize. In fact, in the coming weeks many of them will be harassed and slandered. It will be nothing more than a Satanic attack to rattle them and challenge the faith of the people of God. [...]

You must understand... China, Big Tech including Fox News, and Social Media Platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are all in on this demonic agenda to steal the 2020 Election from Donald Trump. [...]

These media outlets are the modern day false prophets of Baal. They are shouting, mocking, deceiving, and taunting the people of God.

On Election Night, when they realized President Trump would be declared the winner, they systematically began to stop counting ballots and started their election fraud. They refused to be honest with the American people and Donald Trump was right all along. They declared war on the church in Arizona.

Perhaps, the real truth is that President Trump is becoming WAY MORE prophetic than most of the American Church ever has and will be. He is the one who has constantly been warning us that this exactly what was going to happen.

To be more blunt: Civil War was declared last night on American soil. The battle is going to be fierce in the days ahead but I am confident that truth will prevail and massive scandals are about to be exposed.

Well that just seems true.

Curt Landry, the Jews for Jesus guy who also predicted a Trump victory, says God would never allow his prophets to be mocked.

"Son of man, do you think that I am going to allow my prophets who prophesied Trump's second term and prophesied all this goodness coming to this nation to be mocked by a mass media manipulation?" Landry asked rhetorically, speaking on behalf of God. "The Lord says, 'No, I shall not. For my namesake, I shall protect my word, I shall protect my people, I shall protect my prophets from this evil destruction. For I shall pull back the veil and I shall reveal that which is done in darkness. For they who shift the votes and move the boxes around, those who raised the dead and the dead vote, I will expose them says the Lord. For they may be tricky men, but they shall not trick me,' says the Lord."

Look, I don't want to be the one to break it to God, but I mock these prophets all the time and I have yet to be smote. If God doesn't want them to be mocked, God should make them less hilarious.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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