Christine O'Donnell Has a Bachelor's Degree In Suntan Lotion Marketing


It turns out that people who worked on Christine O'Donnell's campaigns think she is dumb and makes terrible decisions. Somebody call Glenn Greenwald! You'renot allowed to make fun of people for being stupid unless they come from one of those dynastic political families he resents! So what has come out so far today in this endless librul circle-jerk of silly O'Donnell revelations that distract them from their impending November doom? Turns out she once gave out thousands of suntan lotion samples to promote her campaign. And she thought she could be the 2008 Republican Convention keynote speaker if she just showed up.

As the campaign entered the summer season, staff was instructed to compile a 10-page document examining how the distribution of tens of thousands of two-ounce suntan lotion packets could shake up the race, according to several members of O'Donnell's 2008 team.

O'Donnell's idea: To affix a clever slogan to packets that read: "Don't Get Burned By Higher Taxes. Vote Christine O'Donnell 2008" and distribute them at local parades.


"It was an irresponsible idea," said David Keegan, who served as O'Donnell's financial officer. “And half the people in the street thought she was throwing condoms out of the truck.”

Well, those people apparently do not respect the pope's opinion on such matters. Christine O'Donnell throwing condoms out of a truck is like smearing cheesecake on a lobster tail. (Which is not a good method of contraception. She tried it back in college.)

And to release your suspense, O'Donnell didn't get the keynote speaker-position at the 2008 convention, despite spending all her campaign's money to fly there. They gave it to Rudy Giuliani, because 9/11. But 9/11 sure looks like a minor event compared to this Teabagger revolution O'Donnell has set into motion, in retrospect. Teabaggers are so excited one of their top minds was nominated for Senate that they have totally forgotten to hate Muslins this week, if you haven't noticed. [Politico]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc