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Photos: Court document, Facebook

A US Coast Guard lieutenant who served in the service's Washington DC headquarters has been arrested and accused of domestic terrorism after law enforcement nabbed him Friday on gun and narcotics charges. A court document filed Tuesday says the initial charges against Christopher Paul Hasson are only the "proverbial tip of the iceberg," because the "defendant is a domestic terrorist, bent on committing acts dangerous to human life." Fortunately for everyone, in addition to being a self-proclaimed white nationalist who wanted to commit "focused violence" to bring about a white "homeland," Hasson was also a fucking idiot. He kept some of his planning for a massive attack on civilians, including a target list of media and political figures to assassinate, on his work computer. Yet another reason GOOD citizens only read Wonkette at work.


According to the "Motion For Detention Pending Trial" filed by prosecutors for the US District Court for Maryland, Hasson reeeaaallly needs to be held without bond because he is a freaking danger to the public. The court filings are, we should note, the only reason we know anything about this would-be mass murderer, because unlike how things worked in the Before Times, the US Department of Justice has so far made no goddamn mention at all of the arrest of a white nationalist terror suspect. No, not even after the story has been all over the media.

Instead of the government announcing the arrest and prosecution, the news was only broken when the court records were discovered by staff at the Program on Extremism at George Washington University. Why would the DOJ want to upset Donald Trump's "very fine people"?

This guy was a racist True Believer, according to files recovered from his computer (the motion doesn't say what tipped off investigators to look at him in the first place, however). One June 2017 email he drafted and then deleted (but not altogether obviously) laid out his ambitions and dreams. The motion doesn't say who the intended recipients were or whether there even was anyone in the "to" field.

Hasson, apparently a big fan of self-improvement, also wrote himself a little "to do" list.

And then the email goes into a lot of rambling thoughts about tactics, more life goals, and some musings on how hard it is to get white people motivated to fight for their own interests, since so many have been brainwashed to think racism is somehow bad. It's a mishmash of racist ideology, "tactics," prepper checklists, and violent revolution porn, with plenty of echoes of The Turner Diaries. He even has fun thoughts about how to best murder the enemy when the shit hits the fan:

Yr Wonkette can see his defense taking shape already: This is only stuff he liked to think about, not an actual plan, gosh, is US America so far gone into totalitarianism that it's prosecuting THOUGHTCRIMES now?

In another email -- sent to himself in September 2017, a couple months after the carnage in Charlottesville and Donald Trump's carefully balanced condemnation of violence "on many sides" -- Hasson wrote to an unidentified white nationalist leader. Again, it's not clear whether the letter or email was actually sent.

Again, interesting stuff here. Hasson establishes his racist and military bona fides, assures the recipient he knows full well the "movement" is full of government snitches, and says he thinks parading around with swastikas is a waste of time because you'll never change minds that way. Instead, he says he's "a man of action" who knows "you can make change with a little focused violence," and that's what's needed to establish a white homeland in the northwest. Yipes. At least he's concerned about those poor young white nationalists who might throw their lives away through a foolish act like shooting up a mosque. If only they could find shelter in a nice Aryan homeland, poor things.

The document indicates Hasson carefully studied the manifesto written by Anders Breivik, the mass murderer who killed 77 people in Norway in 2011 -- not simply for the radical ideology, but also for tactical tips.

The suggested targets for violent action were influential "Cultural Marxist" politicians, media personalities, professors, writers/artists, non-governmental leaders, and globalist investors. Breivik advocated for focusing on individuals who did not have armed guards.

Sure enough, Hasson searched -- again, on his work computer -- some very important information, like "best place in dc to see congress people"; "most liberal senators"; "where do most senators live in dc"; "do senators have ss [secret service] protection"; and "are supreme court justices protected." The scary thing to Yr Wonkette is that some of those are not dissimilar to information we might go searching for a story -- then again, a scan of our computer wouldn't find any fantasies about killing as many people as we possibly could. No idea what the FBI would make of all the My Little Pony image files, though.

Oh, and another big difference. Yr Wonkette hasn't made a hit list in a spreadsheet, either.

Among those Hasson wanted to kill were MSNBC hosts Chris Hayes, Ari Melber, and Joe Scarborough ("JOEY"), and a whole bunch of terrible Democrats like Cory Booker, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Tim Kaine, Maxine Waters, Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand, and two amusingly nicknamed targets, "poca warren" and "Sen blumen jew," HA HA FUNNY.

Oh, yes, and then there were the guns and drugs: 15 firearms and over 1,000 rounds of ammunition, plus a whole lot of Tramadol, an opioid, and a lot of bottles of human growth hormone, because his hero Breivik thought getting jacked up on steroids would be a good way to become a supersoldier. Whatever his eventual defense might eventually say about his computer files being merely evidence of an active imagination, it sure looks like Hasson was collecting supplies for a pretty good weekend in DC.

We'll keep you updated on where this weirdness goes. Expect more to come out in further court filings and journamalism, but as for any statements from Donald Trump or the Justice Department, don't expect much -- some reporter may ask Trump about it, and he'll undoubtedly say it's very sad, but the REAL problem is those people seeking asylum and we need WALL.

Which wouldn't have stopped this guy from getting opioids. He ordered them by email.

[WaPo / Motion for Detention Pending Trial]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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