Yesterday, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer welcomed Mitch McConnell's decision to bring the Green New Deal resolution to the floor for a vote, although Schumer noted that McConnell's intent was far from a good-faith effort to address climate change. On Tuesday, McConnell announced he wanted a vote on the resolution, hoping maybe such a vote would somehow reveal DEEP RIFTS among Senate Democrats, especially the thousand or so running for president. Schumer essentially said great, we know this can't pass in a Republican-controlled Senate, but we're happy to call your bluff, Mitch. Now, how about you guys get on the record that you reject the international scientific consensus that Earth is getting warmer, that humans are causing it, and that we need to take action?

Here's Schumer's speech, a nice response to what he called a "cheap, cynical ploy" on McConnell's part:

Chuck Schumer 24/7 Live as the he speaks Climate Change on the Senate floor.

Schumer noted that McConnell often makes a big deal about how he would never ever waste the Senate's time on political stunts," because heavens, there's no point in debating or voting on bills Donald Trump won't sign. But for the Green New Deal, Schumer points out, McConnell's all up for a stunt because it's a stunt likely to go over well with the Republican base, particularly since they've had such great success lying about how Dems are going to TAKE YOUR COWS AWAY SO YOU WILL HAVE TO RIDE BIKES INSTEAD OF COWS.

[On] Tuesday, the Republican Leader announced he would bring his Green New Deal resolution up for a vote because he wants to "make sure everybody has the opportunity to go on record and see how they feel" about it – knowing full well his entire party will vote against it, including himself, and that it won't pass.

But as Schumer pointed out, Republicans have never taken climate change seriously. Since they took control of the Senate, there hasn't been a vote on a single Republican proposal to actually address climate change, although there was an attempt to roll back methane regulations, which would have made greenhouse emissions worse. Schumer thanked "a few brave Republicans" for joining Dems to put the kibosh on that. But now that there's a proposal to actually tackle climate in a big way, the Rs think it's politically advantageous to have a vote as a political stunt. Schumer 'splained that McConnell is bringing forward a resolution "he wants all of his members to vote against. Let me say that again: the Republican Leader announced that he's going to bring up a resolution he intends to vote against."

The American people need to see that this is all there is to the Republican plan to deal with climate change. This is all they can muster. A political stunt. Not designed to make progress. Not designed to move the ball forward. They're bringing a resolution forward so they can vote against it. This cheap, cynical ploy evidently represents the sum total of Senate Republicans' leadership on the vital issue of climate change. [...]

They're taking their lead from the President, a man who is so willfully ignorant and foolish that he thinks he's clever by ridiculing the global scientific consensus on climate change whenever it snows.

Fine, said Schumer. Let's have a vote on a measure the majority party will reject. But let's make it a real debate at least, and get Republicans on the record.

So when the Republican Leader says he wants to bring the Green New Deal resolution up for a vote, I say: go for it. Bring it on. You think it might embarrass Democrats to vote on a non-binding resolution that maybe some of us support but not others? Trust me; we'll be fine [...]

I challenge Leader McConnell to say that our climate change crisis is real, that it's caused by humans, and that Congress needs to act. This is what two-thirds of the American people agree with. Two-thirds.

But if there is a vote, let's make it a real vote, Schumer said, and let's allow amendments to the resolution. Like for instance the "sense of the Senate" amendments affirming the reality of climate change. Schumer noted McConnell has voted against such resolutions six times.

Let's see if anything has changed since 2015 when only five brave Republicans were able to vote yes on a resolution saying climate change is real and caused by humans. Two of them aren't even here anymore.

If Leader McConnell blocks amendments, we'll know where he and his party stand – against science, against fact, ostriches with their heads buried in the sand as the tide comes in.

OK, even with that rather charmingly befuddled mixed (and biologically inaccurate) metaphor, Schumer is doing some pretty impressive counter-trolling here. Schumer emphasized that while of course Democrats would lose the vote, it's worth playing along, if only to emphasize the difference between the parties. One accepts science, and the other accepts huge donations from big oil. (Attention DNC, you may use that with no charge, but you must credit Wonkette.)

Hilariously, a big chunk of the wingnuttosphere focused solely on one line in the speech. Schumer noted that the entire world, minus the USA, is on board with taking measures to reduce greenhouse emissions.

The rest of the world isn't laughing, either – not when basically every country in the world, including Syria, North Korea, and Iran, are working together to reduce carbon emissions while the Trump Administration has forced the U.S. to sit on the sidelines.

OMG SCHUMER WY U HATE AMERICA????? To be fair, two of the pieces we linked were just parroting the Washington Free Beacon, with variations on how much Chuck Schumer loves our enemies instead of His President, so sad. (We've removed some ads for you in these images.)

Deleted: ad for "liberal Tears" travel mug.

We should never laud our enemies on climate change. Our enemies must only be lauded with no apparent reason other than showing Vladimir Putin how much we like him and respect his opinion, the end.

Also, we like this new character arc for Schumer. Congratulations to the writers for giving the guy a hint of spine.

And by "writers," of course, we mean "Nancy Pelosi."

[WaPo / Senate Democrats / Politico / Washington Free Beacon / Daily Caller / Daily Wire]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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