Chuck Todd Devours Another GOP Senator, Please Sir May He Have Another?

We already touched on Chuck Todd's interview with Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson in our Sunday Show roundup, but we want to talk about it MORE. Partially we feel like we should do this because, well, Chuck Todd has been committing acts of journalism with some regularity lately, which amazes us as much as it amazes you, and much like a kid who's only on the basketball team because his dad is the coach but suddenly starts sinking three-pointers from downtown on the regular, we feel like we should encourage Chuckles The Todd.

Casual observers of politics might not realize how stupid Ron Johnson really is. He is what would happen if Jim Jordan and one of Devin Nunes's cows had a VERY OLD BABY. (Allegedly.) Usually the Senate deems itself above the secret agent conspiracy theorist cosplay of Republicans in the House, but Ron Johnson is the guy who, when he heard the Devin Nunes rumors of a literal SEEEKRIT SOCIETY! in the FBI dedicated to taking down Trump, he believed them.

So it comes as no surprise that when Johnson went on "Meet The Press" on Sunday, Wisconsin was not sending its best. And Chuck Todd -- ATTA BOY! -- was not having it, just like he wasn't having it when Louisiana GOP Senator John Kennedy visited him recently and shouted UKRAINIUM ONE at him for 10 minutes.

Here is your video:

Full Johnson: GOP Attacks Press Over Trump's Ukraine Actions | Meet The Press | NBC

Todd wanted the answer to one simple question. It was reported late last week in the Wall Street Journalthat EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland -- who is now famous because of all those text messages! -- told Johnson that Trump was doing quid pro quos with Ukraine and extorting the nation for electoral assistance in exchange for a White House visit and military assistance Congress had already appropriated. Ron Johnson is on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He cares about things like this, theoretically. Johnson said he "winced" when Sondland told him that, but then he got better because Trump told him THAT IS A DAMN LIE, and as we all know, Trump is physically incapable of lying.

Chuck Todd just wanted to know, Senator, why did you wince? Were you offended? Or was it like that thing where a butterfly all of a sudden flies in front of your face, but really close-like where you haven't focused yet and think it might be a bald-eagle-sized wasp, soon after which you feel like an idiot because you just really queened out over a butterfly, didn't you? Was it that? Ron Johnson, WHAT WAS IT?

Johnson's answer was ... not about wincing. Instead, it was some snowflake victim shit about how nobody is ever nice to Donald Trump:

JOHNSON: I have never in my lifetime seen a president, after being elected, not having some measure of well wishes from his opponents. I've never seen a president's administration be sabotaged from the day after election. I -- I've never seen -- no-- no measure of honeymoon whatsoever.

We've been trying to communicate this for several years now, but we'll say it again. Donald Trump is a detestable human being, is unacceptable as a president, and we will never show him an iota of grace. We will laugh when he is removed from office, by impeachment or by the voters, and if we hear he stubbed his toe in prison, it'll brighten our day. If this bothers the senator, we are sure he can get a referral to a DC-area therapist who'll help him work through his feelings.

Wait, did we just ignore the part where he said, "I've never seen a president's administration be sabotaged from the day after election"? Yes. Sorry, we would rather not have an aneurysm.

Johnson went on to yap about the "false accusations" and "false narratives" of the Mueller investigation, which found multitudes of inappropriate contacts between Russians and the Trump campaign, found that Russia meddled to get Trump elected, that the Trump campaign got contact boners from the reacharounds, and that the Trump administration tried to obstruct the investigation into the election inteference at every opportunity.

But it was when Johnson referred to his notes so he could read some dumbfucking text message from former FBI hunter-of-Russian-spies Peter Strzok that Todd was like OH FUCK THIS. After some cross-fighting where Todd begged his ostensibly sane guest to stay on topic while Johnson puked out methane farts about Trump being "set up by James Comey," Todd cut it off:

TODD: Senator, I have no idea why Fox News conspiracy theory propaganda stuff is popping up here, I have no idea ...

Ooh, that made Johnson MAD. He explained that his Fox News garbage IS TOO RELEVANT, because if you want to know why Fox News conspiracy theorists like Donald Trump and his supporters are so mad and sad, well this is why!

Chuck Todd still, of course, wanted to know why the fuckyap from Wisconsin "winced." And Johnson would not answer. It was the news media! The James Comeys! The Peter Strzok! And that was the moment Chuck Todd got out his Chia Balls -- just add water! -- and raised his voice and said, "SENATOR JOHNSON! SENATOR JOHNSON, PLEASE!"

He made this face!

TODD: Can we PLEASE answer the question that I asked you, instead of make Donald Trump feel better here that you're not criticizing him!

In other words, HEY DUDE, I GET IT, you're chickenshit because you think Big Treason might be watching, but this is MY show where Chuck Todd is the HOST and Chuck Todd is ME and you are SHUT UP!

Sir, why did you wince when you heard Donald Trump was extorting foreign countries to meddle in his 2020 election and make up fake lie stories to legitimize his 2016 election, in exchange for military aid YOU APPROVED?

JOHNSON: Because I didn't want those connected. And I was supporting the aid. [...] But here's the salient point of why I came forward, when I asked the president about that, he completely denied it. He ADAMANTLY denied it. He vehemently, angrily denied it. He said, "I'd never do that!" So that is the piece of the puzzle I'm here to report today, that unlike the narrative of the press that President Trump wants to dig up dirt on his 2020 opponent, what he wants is an account of what happened in 2016. Who set him up? Did things spring from Ukraine?

Well, Chuckles, ask a question, and sometimes a hundred minutes later, you get an answer. And if you're talking to Ron Johnson, that answer gonna be ... wow.

How much batshit is there to unpack here? There's the laughable batshit that Ron Johnson is so brand new and naive that he thinks Trump wouldn't lie to him. (If you compare the timeline of Johnson's August 31 conversation with Trump to the State Department text messages we've now read, one can easily infer that news was getting out in DC that Trump was doing quid pro quos with the Ukrainians, which meant it was time for Trump to shout "NO QUID PRO QUO!" a whole bunch.)

There's the part where Johnson, who apparently doesn't know the Trump administration released a partial transcript of Trump's bad call with the Ukrainian president, tries to lie and say Trump didn't want dirt on Joe Biden. We guess this impeachment is going to come down to "It depends on what the definition of I WANT DIRT ON JOE BIDEN is."

After that, Johnson started regurgitating Devin Nunes's conspiracy farts again and confirmed that yes, Trump does want the Ukrainians to investigate what happened in 2016, because Johnson believes the same fuckshow propaganda Trump does. He whined that people are calling him a conspiracy theorist, and that people are calling JOHN SOLOMON a conspiracy theorist, just because they clearly are. (Yes, he namechecked John Solomon on damn "Meet The Press." ThatJohn Solomon.)

Finally, the interview moved on so Chuck Todd could ask Johnson if he shared the concerns of former special envoy to Ukraine Kurt Volker that Rudy Giuliani's wet fever dreams have been making making their way into the president's brain. Johnson responded by saying we really haven't gotten any good answers to the questions in Rudy Giuliani's wet fever dreams, or in John Solomon's either. In other words, Ron Johnson does not have to wear underpants at the DMV if he doesn't want to, you are not his real dad, and who are these men coming to take him away, HEY! HEY! HEY! I AM A UNITED STATES SENATOR!

"Sure, buddy. And I'm the king of England!" said the nice man with the gentle voice.

One more:

TODD: Do you not trust the FBI? You don't trust the CIA?

JOHNSON: No! No I don't! Absolutely not! Peter Strzok and Lisa Page? After James Comey? Peter Strzok? John Brennan?

After much back-and-forth, it was determined that Ron Johnson does not trust the Obama FBI or CIA, he does not trust them now, but he is not sure who you are talking about, PETER STRZOK? ANDREW MCCABE? JOHN BRENNAN? JAMES COMEY? LISA PAGE? CHUCK TODD BIASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?

Whew. Good interview, Chuckles!

We almost feel like something in Chuck Todd's soul has stirred and he has realized that America is going through one of those crisis moments that his job was made for, and he's decided to rise and meet the moment.

It is also possible Chuck Todd has gas and needs to make stinky.

And with that? It's your OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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