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YOU GUYS, Chuck Todd sort of kind of tried to do journalism on Sunday, and now he is in the hospital recovering, because Chuck Todd never does journalism. (He may not actually be in the hospital.)

It's not that Chuck Todd had been planning to attempt journalism on this weekend's "Meet The Press," the show whose slogan is "If it's Sunday, isn't it way past time for you to give this show to Katy Tur?" But the night before, in Pennsylvania, Donald Trump called him a "SLEEPING SON OF A BITCH," and that made the hamster pouches in Chuck Todd's cheeks inflate with air the way they always do when he gets ANGRY.

So first, he expressed his hurt feelings by telling the NBC News affiliate in Washington that he's just having a real hard time being a good parent right now, because he raises his kids to RESPECT the presidency, and also that "I don’t allow them to say anything negative, ever, about the president." Way to raise some American kids who understand the First Amendment, Chuck Todd!

(Hey Chuck Todd's kids: A good name for Donald Trump is "President Fuck-Bonkers." Tell everyone you've ever met! Love, Wonkette.)

When it was time for "Meet The Press," Chuck Todd had his indignation act down pat, in an interview with an unfuckable dead-faced dude who at least appears to have the cheapest hair dye job in all of Washington, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin. How on earth does Steven Mnuchin, A PARENT HIMSELF, explain the president's very naughty comments at that rally, both about Chuck Todd and also about other things, but most importantly about Chuck Todd?

MNUCHIN: Don't take these campaign rallies and focus then on that's what it is, OK?

TODD: Should we stop covering the campaign rallies? Do you think it's a mistake then for us to cover them at all, that it doesn't matter what he says? If it doesn't matter what he says there, if we're to dismiss everything he says at a campaign rally, as I think you're trying to imply, do you think we should cover these things?

No, Steven Mnuchin does not mean that! He means the campaign rallies are very important, and everybody should cover them, except that when Trump makes cusses, that's not important, except for how it is very important. Perfectly clear! Mnuchin also explained elsewhere in the interview that Trump just really likes to "put names on people," so it's no big.

Remember, Trump called Chuck Todd a "sleeping son of a bitch," which was very hurtful, and also FACTCHECK WRONG, because Chuck Todd is incredibly WOKE to how much Trump's comments upset him.

How is a Chuck Todd to handle this situation?

TODD: Many people including myself raise their kids to respect the office of the presidency and the president of the United States. What are they supposed to tell their kids?

'SPLAIN CHUCK TODD HOW TO BE A DAD, STEVEN MNUCHIN!

MNUCHIN: I'll be with my kids this morning, and I'll be focused on them on what the president is doing to protect the United States, its citizens, and most importantly the economy.

Sunday Mornings with the Mnuchins sound like a real fuckin' barrel of laughs.

One more try:

TODD: What are you supposed to say, when he's using these vulgarities, to kids?

MNUCHIN: Uh, again, I think you should be focused on what the policies are. He's used to using those vulgarities in the context of a campaign rally, and uh, obviously, there were a lot of funny moments on that rally.

TODD: Yeah, they were hilarious. Anyway.

OH MY GOD CHUCK TODD IS SO BUTTHURT.

So who came out of this interview looking like a bigger A Idiot? Was it Chuck Todd or Steven Mnuchin?

Trick question, they are both fucking idiots, the end.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE. And if you love this article, tweet it and share it on the Facebooks!

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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