CIA's Call of the Wild

zoltan looking to eat the dalai lamaWhile Michael Hayden and the "Terrorist Buster" give the CIA a pretty face before congressional appropriations hearings, the real American intelligence community answers to a dog named Zoltan.

The Belgian Malinois is "officially" a member of the CIA's K-9 Corps, but secretly has all major Washington pols in his pocket. Just who is this Alpo-eating, de facto cur of a monarch -- and how much does he know?

Zoltan understands the popular American mindset about dogs as "loyal" or "innocent" well, and boy does he ever play off of that misconception! He mentions in his profile how "Officer Matt," (in reality his concubine-slave), takes him swimming on days off. The pair are also really psyched for Zoltan's chances at the K-9 Olympics, although some investigative reporting reveals that this competition is nothing more than a dummy corporation that finances Zoltan's state secret-exporting trade with the Chinese. I repeat: Zoltan is selling secrets to the Chinese. Don't believe me? He eerily woofs it himself: "I'm going to make everyone remember my name when I get my chance."

CIA Calls out to Kids [Wired]


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