Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Mississippi Goddamn Moron

Hey, did y'all hear Georgia Republicans actually stepped away from one of the nasty fascist Jim Crow KKK voter suppression things they were trying to do to keep Black people from voting in elections? Yeah! They're backing off murdering early voting on Sundays, when many Black churches hold "Souls to the Polls" events. They are obviously still trying it with pretty much every other voter suppression thing they can come up with.

In the Senate today, during the Rules Committee's big hearing on HR1/S1, the "For The People" Act, which among other things would protect the right to vote for ALL eligible Americans, Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith, a Republican from Not Georgia, let us know why she thinks people shouldn't be able to vote on Sundays, and definitely not in Mississippi. And because she is a goddamn moron, she fucked it all up.

HYDE-SMITH: Georgia is a southern state, just like Mississippi. I cannot speak for Georgia, but I can speak for Mississippi on why we would NEVER do that on a Sunday or hold an election on a Sunday. You know, this is our currency, this is a dollar bill.

Hyde-Smith held up a dollar bill. No, she wasn't introducing an alternate bill imposing a poll tax, but we understand why you might have thought that when you saw the picture above, because "Mississippi Republican."

HYDE-SMITH: This says "the United States of America, In God we trust." Etched in stone in the US Senate chamber is "In God We Trust." When you swore in all of these witnesses, the last thing you said to them in your instructions was "So help you God."

Here it comes. The senator from Mississippi's gonna burn off some of your brain cells, and also hers, assuming arguendo that she has some.

HYDE-SMITH: In God's word in Exodus 20:18, it says "Remember the sabbath and keep it holy," so that is my response to Senator Schumer.

Few problems here, problems you don't have to be a hoity-toity theologian to address.

When Exodus was written, when the Ten Commandments were (allegedly!) delivered unto Moses by God, Christianity did not exist. Christianity is the major world religion what observes its holy day on Sundays, unlike Chuck Schumer's religion what does not do that, nobody tell Cindy Hyde-Smith. Christianity is clearly the religion Cindy Hyde-Smith feels supremacist about, and Cindy Hyde-Smith apparently believes we should all stop what we're doing on Sundays so Cindy Hyde-Smith can go to the Hee Haw Baptist Church and raise her hands in the air while singing an off-key rendition of "Our God Is An Awesome God" before heading to a buy one, get one free buffet lunch.

Trouble is, that Bible verse, that thing Cindy Hyde-Smith said out loud with her face, is about Saturday, AKA the Jewish sabbath. It ain't about Sunday. Though many southern states still have ridiculous blue laws that attempt to regulate whether people are allowed to drink alcohol and the like on Sundays, the fact is that Sunday AKA the "Lord's Day" in Christian tradition, never had quite the restrictions of the Jewish sabbath, certainly not in an across-the-board kind of way.

But Cindy Hyde-Smith says she'd like us to remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. So if we're to take the senator's words literally — and why wouldn't we? she doesn't seem to be the type to speak in flowery metaphor — then what would she like us to ban in Mississippi on Saturdays? What is "holy" and what is "not holy"?

Obviously she doesn't feel Black people voting is "holy," though Senator Raphael Warnock, who actually is the senator from Georgia, recently likened voting to a "kind of prayer about the world we desire for ourselves and our children." And he would know, as he is the pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church. Seems pretty fuckin' holy, if you ask us.

Is Ole Miss football "holy"? What about football at Southern Miss, the institution of higher learning what spit Cindy Hyde-Smith out into the world as an allegedly educated woman?

And back on the subject of Sundays, was it "holy" when Cindy Hyde-Smith took her oath of office on a Sunday?

Oh, Wonkette is just kidding, we know these aren't questions worth asking the senator, because she is just some moron. A Mississippi GODDAMN moron, to be specific.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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