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Cindy McCain Caught Cheating With Ponytailed Loser?

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For the past six months, theNational Enquirer has devoted 148% of its coverage to the extramarital affairs of political types. This month's installment brings you Cindy McCain's torrid face-sucking antics with a "a long-haired man who resembles 'a washed-up '80s rock musician.'" Ugh, gross.


This is how terrible affairs are between Chico's addicts and their paramours: Cindy and her reputed lover made out with each other at a Moody Blues concert. We imagine he wore a leather vest with stars on it and no shirt underneath, and after the concert they probably retired to a hotel and read The Bridges of Madison County to each other.

A second witness spotted Cindy and her "mystery man" at a Moody Blues concert "passionately kissing and hugging."

"I couldn't believe it. I remember thinking, 'Go get a room!'

"They kissed and cuddled. While other concertgoers stood up to cheer and sing, Cindy and the guy remained entwined in their seats," the eyewitness said.

In her defense, if this is true, Cindy McCain cannot be faulted for wanting to have an affair with a man under the age of 70, with hair.

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: CINDY McCAIN CAUGHT CHEATING ON J-MAC! [National Enquirer]

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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