So how did you do on yesterday's Campaign Desk quiz on "real issues" versus "less-than-serious ones"? We were too busy pleasuring ourselves to take it, but Wonkette's special education correspondent gave it a whack:

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1) In what magazine were the Bush twins recently featured wearing formal gowns?

I thought they were talking about Cheney and Bush. Seriously.

2) John Kerry wants to increase the minimum wage to what level?

Whatever he's got in his pocket that he leaves for the hotel maid. 

3) Who is Washingtonienne, and what is her real name?

I don't give a shit. Her phone number, that's what I would prefer.

 

4) By how much do Kerry and Edwards say they will reduce the federal budget deficit?

To fixate on the number is meaningless and shows that the authors of the question don't understand anything about budgets. Simply memorizing the meaningless number that Kerry's policy aides cooked up is useless. Understanding that it is so and that numbers matter less than percentages of GDP is what the question should be getting at.

5) What did Wolf Blitzer need to apologize for shortly after John Kerry's acceptance speech and subsequent celebration at the Democratic convention?

His being on television so much?

6) President Bush's "No Child Left Behind" initiative calls for the testing of every child in which grades?

The students with C, D and F grades. Anyone with higher grades probably did pretty well and is pretty smart. Too smart, really. Hit them in the head with a shovel and call it even.

7) Which daughter-of-a-candidate showed up at the Cannes film festival in a see-through black dress?

Not a Bush daughter unfortunately and it would have been helpful if the Kerry daughter that did had done so at the Democratic convention. That's why I was in the front row with all those cameras.

8) How do Bush and Kerry differ on how to implement the Sept. 11 Commission's recommendation for the creation of a national intelligence director?

Bush would prefer not to be surrounded by too much intelligence. It gives him a rash. Kerry would like the baguette, please.

9) Which Hollywood celebrity and Beantown native was considered "ubiquitous" last week in Boston?

In Boston, ubiquitous is improved with a salve.

10) How many jobs have been gained or lost during Bush's time in office?

Ooooh, how fair of them to say "gained or lost"! Which could it be? Well, the answer is that there are no journalism jobs out there. Blogs are taking over and thank goodness because the porn/news nexus has gone too long unfulfilled.

Unfulfilled, indeed.

If You Can Read This, What Are You Doing Here? [Wonkette]

Trivial Pursuit [Campaign Desk]