Know what's been nice? Since Prince's untimely passing on Thursday, people really haven't said hardly anything shitty about it. Cities large and small have gone purple, the cast of Broadway's The Color Purple sang the tribute to end all tributes, and people are just pretty much still in shock.

So CNN decided to act like CNN and fuck that all up:

ANCHOR JON BERMAN: Does this freeze the race a little bit, maybe benefit Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, who are coming off big wins?

NIA-MALIKA HENDERSON: You know, I don't know, I think everybody's mourning the loss of Prince ... so maybe so, it's this rare moment we've had with Prince, who was, I think a figure where everybody liked him ...

And so on! We come not to condemn Henderson's answer, as it was a fucking stupid question and CNN should feel bad. We are also not here to condemn David Gregory for sitting there with a goofy 'scited grin on his face like it's the first time he's ever been on TV.

But way to stay on top of things, Jon Berman, and capture the zeitgeist of what everybody is wondering, whether the death of an American icon might be GOOD FOR HILLARY or GOOD FOR TRUMP. You dumb knuckle-fuck.

Besides, the answer to his question is obvious. The only person Prince's death is good news for is John McCain. Don't know why, but that's how things work.

Speaking of Hillary and Trump, though!

They both actually had very nice things to say about Prince's passing. Here's Hillary not long after she found out, talking to Philadelphia's WDAS-FM. She sounds kinda like all of us do, sad and shocked:

I came out of an event in Hartford, Connecticut, and people told me and I was so stunned. You know, you think of him as being almost eternal, I mean, he was a bigger-than-life personality, he was not only a songwriter and a singer, but literally a one-man band. He was such a great showman. I was so sad, and I just want everybody to spend some time reflecting on this American original. He was so extraordinary.


Trump didn't say as much, and of course he issued his statement by barking at one of the girls in his office to Make A Twitter about Prince, but hey, he said a thing:

They probably met so many times because, as MSNBC twatnipple Joe Scarborough explained Friday morning, Trump and Prince are just alike, because they're "SHAPESHIFTERS." Delete your career, Joe.

Or maybe Trump liked Prince because he wrote an epic song called "Donald Trump (Black Version)" and Trump likes hearing "Donald Trump" in songs.

John Kasich feels terrible about Prince's death, just kidding.

Here's John Kasich, MAKIN' IT WEIRD:

I feel badly about Prince. Not really, though. I never really — I never saw him in concert. That was a mistake for me not to have been able to follow him, to see him in concert. Because he was an extraordinary musician and they say they have enough unrecorded music now to last, they could put an album out every year for 100 years. Remarkable.

We think he meant well? At least he admitted he wasn't ACTUALLY sad, because have you heard about how John Kasich is kind of an asshat? He is kind of an asshat.

Anything you'd like to add, Bernie Cruz and Ted Sanders?

APPARENTLY NOT! Not yet anyway, that we can find. To be fair, Bernie Sanders is a sweet old man, so he may have missed out on the Prince thing by just a hair. Maybe in those unreleased recordings, they will find a Prince song that's good for dancing the Charleston, and Bernie will #FeelTheBern, but for Prince? Or maybe he will say a thing real soon!

We KNOW why Ted Cruz hasn't said anything. It's because he's a terrible person, which is why everybody hates him. We're sure Ted has had some contact with Prince's music during his foreign-born piece o' shit life -- back in his dildo-confiscating days, he probably confiscated a dildo from somebody who was listening to "Darling Nikki" RIGHT THEN. But Ted probably also thinks Prince was a gay homosexual demon. Also too, Ted only listens to country music, because of 9/11. So fuck him.

So that's your current preznit-wannabes and where they stand on Prince. Let's close out this post by watching that tribute from the cast of The Color Purple, because it's THAT awesome. Stay purple, loves.

[Mediaite / BillboardMedia MattersTrump on Twitter]
Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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