Kathleen Card, wife of President Bush's chief of staff Andrew Card, is becoming an ordained minister this weekend. Don't tell anyone though. This is strictly hush-hush, at least according to one church insider whose email was forwarded to us:

CNN, other news and the secret service, and maybe the President will be there....HA Of course this is supposed to be a SECRET.

So this is how media-shy newsmakers stay under the radar now? They call up CNN and ask it for coverage? We heard ratings were down, but we didn't know things had gotten that bad. — GREG BEATO