Donate

Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail

News

It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.




Wow! Steve Schmidt is out, and I don't think Trump's self-serving actions are bringing him back any time soon. Schmidt was John McCain's former campaign strategist who used to go on TV and try to convince people that Sarah Palin had a brain in her head. He has since come to regret such blatant lies, but he's also one of those pesky NeverTrumpers like Ana Navarro who romanticizes Ronald Reagan and thinks the GOP that has existed in their lifetime has anything in common with Abraham Lincoln. I doubt the White House is sweating much over Schmidt's defection. It's not like Trump's brief dabbling in state-sanctioned child abuse lost anyone remotely loyal or close to him.

Michael Cohen, President Trump's longtime confidant and former personal attorney, has resigned from his post as deputy finance chair of the Republican National Committee's Finance Committee, sources close to the RNC told ABC News.

Wait? Cohen was still technically deputy finance chair for the RNC? Isn't he in serious legal jeopardy? Did this mean he could still enter the building, read work emails, swipe office supplies and so on?

In his resignation letter to Ronna McDaniel, the RNC chair, Cohen cited the ongoing special counsel investigation as one reason for his departure. ABC News has reviewed the email.

"This important role requires the full time attention and dedication of each member. Given the ongoing Mueller and SDNY investigations, that simply is impossible for me to do," he wrote.

Cohen also criticized the administration's policy of separating migrant children from their parents at the southern border, the first time he's distanced himself from the president.

"As the son of a Polish holocaust survivor, the images and sounds of this family separation policy is heart wrenching," Cohen wrote. "While I strongly support measures that will secure our porous borders, children should never be used as bargaining chips."

Uh, he's ... not wrong. I'm actually a little moved. This is also fairly brave. Cohen knows Trump well enough to realize that the president doesn't handle perceived "betrayal" well ... or even timid criticism. Not even Kim Kardashian could get him a pardon now.

Trump, of course, was previously certain that Cohen would never "turn on him."



Trump's faith wasn't unfounded. Cohen was a big fluffy corrupt lapdog who famously appeared on TV during the 2016 campaign and treated us to this bit of hilarity.

But this was all before Trump starting getting all creepily 1930s Germany. That's a little different, I suppose, from his reported creepy treatment of women. Well done, Mr. Cohen, you are the noblest "fixer" of them all. Maybe other members of the Trump Administration and the GOP with far less to lose might follow your lead. It's not like Trump won't just do something even worse next week. But I'm not holding my breath.

Follow SER on Twitter.

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

$
Donate with CC

Deutsche Bank shitcanned its own internal compliance reports to disappear suspicious Trump and Kushner transactions and make sure Treasury never got wind of them? You mean the bank that continued to make loans to Trump after every other lender tapped out, that accepted his overnight doubling of his "net worth" by claiming his brand was worth $4 billion, that continued to write him checks after he defaulted and then sued them claiming the 2008 financial crisis was an "act of God?" Those prudent beancounters cut corners to benefit their wealthy clients? FAM, WE ARE SHOOK.

No, not really. It would be shocking to find out that the private wealth managers let algorithms work their magic on high net worth individuals and turned the reports over to Treasury like they would for some guy making $75,000 who got a $19,000 wire from the Isle of Man. The rules for rich people are different, and Deutsche Bank did not get to be part of the "Global Laundromat" by taking all those anti-money laundering statutes literally. (And if you think the other big banks aren't doing the exact same thing, the Easter Bunny has a bridge to sell you. This is why Elizabeth Warren freaks the finance guys out -- she knows where all the bodies are buried.)

At the same time, this story in the New York Times about Deutsche Bank compliance officer Tammy McFadden getting fired for pointing out Trump and Kush's hinky transactions in 2016 -- including some with Russians, natch -- is pretty ridiculous. With regulators on two continents breathing down their necks for laundering Russian money, DB's private wealth bankers were allowed to swoop in and save their clients from any of that icky federal snooping into their questionable transactions.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

To be honest, we're not 100 percent sure who's right in the argument over whether 2020 Democratic primary candidates should do town halls on Fox News, though we suspect it's Elizabeth Warren, because she's usually right. But if you are going to do it, then Pete Buttigieg showed us all how you should do it, which is to make sure you get all the way under the skin of Fox News's most regular viewer, the chunk of human cells and pigshit who lounges around the White House all day watching TV and apparently not (thank God) doing much work.

In fact, the president was whining hours before the town hall even started:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc