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Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail

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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.




Wow! Steve Schmidt is out, and I don't think Trump's self-serving actions are bringing him back any time soon. Schmidt was John McCain's former campaign strategist who used to go on TV and try to convince people that Sarah Palin had a brain in her head. He has since come to regret such blatant lies, but he's also one of those pesky NeverTrumpers like Ana Navarro who romanticizes Ronald Reagan and thinks the GOP that has existed in their lifetime has anything in common with Abraham Lincoln. I doubt the White House is sweating much over Schmidt's defection. It's not like Trump's brief dabbling in state-sanctioned child abuse lost anyone remotely loyal or close to him.

Michael Cohen, President Trump's longtime confidant and former personal attorney, has resigned from his post as deputy finance chair of the Republican National Committee's Finance Committee, sources close to the RNC told ABC News.

Wait? Cohen was still technically deputy finance chair for the RNC? Isn't he in serious legal jeopardy? Did this mean he could still enter the building, read work emails, swipe office supplies and so on?

In his resignation letter to Ronna McDaniel, the RNC chair, Cohen cited the ongoing special counsel investigation as one reason for his departure. ABC News has reviewed the email.

"This important role requires the full time attention and dedication of each member. Given the ongoing Mueller and SDNY investigations, that simply is impossible for me to do," he wrote.

Cohen also criticized the administration's policy of separating migrant children from their parents at the southern border, the first time he's distanced himself from the president.

"As the son of a Polish holocaust survivor, the images and sounds of this family separation policy is heart wrenching," Cohen wrote. "While I strongly support measures that will secure our porous borders, children should never be used as bargaining chips."

Uh, he's ... not wrong. I'm actually a little moved. This is also fairly brave. Cohen knows Trump well enough to realize that the president doesn't handle perceived "betrayal" well ... or even timid criticism. Not even Kim Kardashian could get him a pardon now.

Trump, of course, was previously certain that Cohen would never "turn on him."



Trump's faith wasn't unfounded. Cohen was a big fluffy corrupt lapdog who famously appeared on TV during the 2016 campaign and treated us to this bit of hilarity.

But this was all before Trump starting getting all creepily 1930s Germany. That's a little different, I suppose, from his reported creepy treatment of women. Well done, Mr. Cohen, you are the noblest "fixer" of them all. Maybe other members of the Trump Administration and the GOP with far less to lose might follow your lead. It's not like Trump won't just do something even worse next week. But I'm not holding my breath.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He recently fled Seattle, where he did theatre work for Book-It Rep and Cafe Nordo.

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