Colorado Fried Chicken Lady Vicki Marble Trots Out Inevitable 'Black Friend' Story To Prove Her Non-Racism
One of the dopier little flaps of the late summer involved a couple of nice white ladies in the Colorado legislature who were accused of being a tad bit racisty, although they say they meant well, bless their hearts. The first foofaraw involved state Sen. Vicki Marble, whosaid some stuff back in August about how the blacks and the Mexicans have a lot of the diabeetus because of all the barbecue and chicken and whatnot they eat, and once you get North of the Rio Grande your Messicans stop eating their vegetables, too. Also their children do so much armed robbery, why is that anyway? (For the record, we thought people could have been a little madder about that part and a little less madder about the dietary advice.) And then a couple weeks later her pal, state Rep. Lori Saine, stirred up Shitfuffle Part Deux by pointedly plopping down a big ol' serving of the Popeye's fried chicken at her desk, which of course was not a snotty "comment" or anything, it was just dinner, you racists.
Well, now, for some reason the race-baiters in the black and Latino caucuses -- and have you ever noticed that it's funny how you don't have to be a Caucasian to have a Caucus? -- think that the Colorado Lege could do with more "sensitivity," which is just a PC code word for "we hate the whites," and stifles the First Amendment right to say anything you want as long as you don't call rightwingers racist. And so, while covering the joint caucus meetings, the Colorado Statesman asked Marble and Saine to comment on the question of whether Republicans in Colorado have a sensitivity problem. Would you be astonished to learn that they think that's pretty much a non-issue?
Sen. Marble, for one, thinks this whole "sensitivity" thing is just people missing the point -- she brought up the fried chicken and barbecue thing because those people's genes just make them prone to the sugar diabeetus, and you just have to talk about it for their own good:
We all have genetic traits…” she continued. “That’s what I was bringing up…
“But where is the discussion going to start? Marble asked. “A quarter of those blacks who die from heart disease and diabetes, those can be prevented if we’re given the right information… We can’t force them to stop doing what they choose to do, but to give them the information. These are our families and our neighbors in the black community…
Also, she knows about how black people eat, because she, personally, has Black Friends who she knows, and that is all she was getting at:
“Honestly, I learned how to smoke meat from my black friends down in Texas because they lived with me… and stayed at my house…” Marble recalled. “Did we talk about cooking? Yes. The whole time.”
And sure, maybe people are sensitive about race stuff, but you have to talk about it for their own good:
“If there’s sensitivities, that’s the way it is,” opined Marble. “People aren’t all the same. You don’t just cookie-cutter them out and say, ‘You have to listen to this’. But it would be nice to have an honest conversation to help educate them on what is actually happening and to prevent that with diet and exercise."
We think what she's getting at is that they just need to stop being so thin- and/or dark skinned.
For her part, Saine, the chicken displayer, wants to know what's so good about being so sensitive and talking about inequality? It just gets turned into a political thing anyway, and who wants that?
“It seems that we tend to use those sensitivity issues as tools in political debate and that’s not always so helpful, and yet during session we work together rather well,” she surmised.
“If we want civility, maybe we should not use that as a political tool,” Saine continued. “Maybe we should concentrate on real solutions like getting government out of the way of business.”
See, there wouldn't be so much inequality in the world if it weren't for government getting in the way of prosperity, says Saine:
"If we can reduce burdensome regulations and rules for all businesses and create jobs; a job is one of the best ways to lift people out of poverty on a long-term basis, and long-term stability to keep them out of poverty.”
So there you have it: You can eliminate poverty by making sure that businesses can do what they want, and then everyone will be able to afford to go to the gym after smoking their meat. This is just logic.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. Sadly, there are not enough Black Friends in Boise to go around, but he is on the waiting list.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.