Colorado Republican Just Can't Let This Fried Chicken Thing Go


A couple of weeks agowe told you about Vicki Marble, an actual campground vault toilet masquerading as a Colorado state senator – Republican, natch – and her rather refreshing theories about the differences in the poverty rate between the white, black, and Hispanic communities. Something about the blacks and the Mexicans all having the sickle-cell and the diabetes from eating all the chicken and doing all the drugs, we think? Our puny minds could not really comprehend the greatest oration on the lesser races heard in a democratic chamber since the Stoics roamed Athens.

Anyway, many people took offense to Marble’s comments. Even the Colorado GOP rebuked her with some pretty harsh language. Then the poverty task force that had been meeting when Marble argled and bargled her way into Wonkette infamy went out on recess for a couple of weeks. When it reconvened the other day, everyone assumed that the long break had allowed tempers to cool and perspective and wisdom to be regained.

Except ha-ha, these are Republicans we’re talking about:

But on Wednesday, with the task force meeting for the first time since the flap, state Rep. Lori Saine (R) staged what she called a "silent protest" against the uproar generated by Marble's remarks by placing a box of Popeye's fried chicken on her desk.

When television station KDVR sought Saine for comment as she made her way through the capitol building, the Republican lawmaker dimissively laughed at the reporter's question.

“I’m having chicken for dinner," she said initially. “Would you like a presser at my house?”

No, Lori Saine, we would not like a presser at your house. We would like very much to have passed our entire happy lives without ever hearing about you and your Huey Newton moment (if Huey had been a passive-aggressive middle-aged white moron) in support of your poor beleaguered colleague and her ignorant trafficking in ancient stereotypes. But because it is our job to mine the dark corners of American politics in search of the dumbest fucktards who lurk there, we are paying attention to you for as long as it takes us to write the following:

If you and your fellow mouth-breathers who get all your information from Fox News or Ghost Breitbart’s Mausoleum for Unemployable Porn Theater Bathroom Attendants really want to shriek that this is a post-racial society, that conservatives don’t see skin color, that electing Barack Obama president twice proves racism is over, then don’t make sneering comments about eating fried chicken, don’t put on Obama masks and play with the big ol’ nigra lips, don’t email around cartoons showing watermelon patches on the White House lawn. Because being part of a post-racial society does not mean you get a pass to make all the racially insensitive jokes you want and then affect a “Who, me?” look on your smug little face afterwards as you apologize “if anyone who was offended.”

No, being part of a post-racial society means you don’t bring up the stereotypes or tell the jokes in the first damn place.



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