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Colorado's Greatest Demon-Fighter, Gordon Klingenschmitt, Wins Primary For State House

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We were just typing along on our midterm election roundup, looking up percentages for theColorado primaries, when we found a result in a race we had almost forgotten about. All you connoisseurs of crazy will be delighted to know that disgraced former chaplain and radio preacherman Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, who thinks pretty much everything he dislikes (Gays, Barack Obama -- same diff -- and Al Franken) is caused by very literal demons, won his primary for a seat in the Colorado Legislature. We'd been very excited about that prospect ever since he threw his tinfoil hat in the ring.


There is simply too much that is wonderful about this big win. This is a guy who worries that evil spirits from gay people are turning animals gay. A candidate who urges photographers to free themselves from the tyranny of having to take pictures of same-sex weddings by printing up business cards proclaiming that gays should be stoned to death. A gentleman who has detected signs of demonic possession in Disney kids' shows.

On his faceplacespace,

he posted a victory announcement that doesn't even mention demons, which worries us a little bit that he may be trying to look "mainstream" for the general election. But we aren't too concerned -- this guy would never hide his nutty light under a bushel. Congratulations, Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, and shine on, you crazy diamond. To his Democratic opponent in the fall, Lois Fornander, we can only advise: Let Gordon Talk. And please, please, PLEASE have a televised debate.

[RightWingWatch]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He would like to assist several lesser demons for their assistance in writing this post, but must note that they cannot be relied upon to reliably fetch coffee.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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