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Comedy Saved: Michele Bachmann Running for Congress Again (OR NOT?)

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Were you, like us, very ultra super secretly sighing to yourself -- under your breath when you were absolutely sure no one could hear you -- hasn't this campaign season gotten sorta boring since Michele Bachmann dropped out? WELL SIGH NO MORE: her surrealist sideshow is coming BACK following Michele's announcement today that she will run for re-election to Congress! Will the voters of Minnesota's 6th District once again choose to be represented by a whacked out, pill-snarfing lunatic screamer over any other available adult human? True, it's not like America will be in any DANGER if she wins again -- she never actually does anything in Congress, ever. She is more like very expensive, taxpayer-funded entertainment. But hey, maybe Minnesota's 6th District is feeling flush again this year? UPDATE: HAHA oh god we love it, Michele Bachmann has no idea what words mean in English and went on Fox News to qualify her initial statement of "yes" with more of a "maybe definitely yes" declaration of non-candidacy candidacy. Who knows!


The AP reports:

“I’m looking forward to coming back and bringing a strong, powerful voice to Washington, D.C.,” Bachmann said.

Bachmann will be a formidable candidate in Minnesota’s 6th District, where other Republican hopefuls had stood aside until she made a decision on running for re-election. Some experts had speculated that Bachmann might instead turn to a career in talk media.

TALK MEDIA!!!! No, that is only for second-tier entertainers that the public doesn't want to pay for with taxpayer money, like Sarah Palin. [AP]

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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