Condi's Ton O' Luv
It was a pretty bad Condiweek! She went all the way to the Middle East and accomplished little more than photo-ops with the morbidly obese; she bickered with kindly old man Jimmy Carter; and then she came home and participated in one of the most gruesomely cynical Bush Administration publicity stunts EVER. Catch up with America's Princess Diplomat after the jump!
The week started in the midst of one of Condi's OMG SURPRISE trips to Iraq, and you know nothing really happens when she goes there, right? In fact, nothing really happened last week for Condi at all! But there are some very funny pictures.
Following her Iraq visit, Condi made a trip to a huge confab in Kuwait she organized with, like, totally every Middle Eastern country except the ones she doesn't like (can you spot the flaw in her plan yet?). This thing was seriously called the Iraq Neighbors Meeting! Basically, she wanted everybody to agree to step up to the plate and help with Iraq, but their response was to sort of smile at her and pat her on the head. Arab leaders are just biding their time until next January... just like us! Take a look at this and feel the glamour of this visit (All large photos AP):
Hey there, big boy! That's Sheikh Khalid ibn Ahmad Al Khalifa, foreign minister of Bahrain, educated in Texas and an erstwhile campaigner for, of all people, Jimmy Carter. And here's where it gets funny: remember a couple of weeks ago when the Afghans thanked Condi for all her hard work by giving her a dinky paperweight? This time, Condi went to all the trouble to organize this huge, pointless extravaganza and all she got was this stupid t-shirt:
Honestly, have you ever seen something so sad? Maybe she'll wear it while Condicising! Or maybe she'll use it to dust knickknacks! But anyway, here's a picture of Madame Secretary at this event with all her friends who can't wait to see her leave:
Remember last week when we laughed at pictures of Condi with antlers? Wasn't that fun? Ha, ha, let's do it again:
In the middle of all this futile globe trotting, Dr. Ferragamo found time to argue with kindly old man Jimmy Carter. She was all, like, we told him not to talk to Hamas, and he was totally all, Nuh-uh, no you didn't. And that was basically the scope of their little spat. Why can't you two crazy kids just agree to disagree, huh? What would the Dalai Lama do?
When Condi got back to Washington, she mostly settled back into her matching armchairs photo-ops routine with diplomats from unimportant countries like Georgia and Latvia. The New York Times published a mean editorial saying that Condi wasn't Teflon-coated anymore, but her shiny pantyhose suggest otherwise.
The Condiweek ended early on Thursday when our favorite diplobot participated in one of the most appalling spectacles, truly the most cynical photo-op ever staged by the Bush Administration, and that's saying something! The group of veterans called Wounded Warriors were riding through town, and they're a good group, but should have known better than to be co-opted for this publicity stunt to benefit the people whose policies resulted in their wounds. So I'll leave you this week with this superb gross-out in which Condi laughs and claps for the handicapped soldiers while George tries to figure out what to do with an air horn:
You're welcome. So what's next for Condi? Would you believe she's going back to the Middle East? Maybe this time they'll give her a commemorative ashtray.
Veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) explores the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America's Favorite Princess Diplomat™ each week at Wonkette!
PREVIOUSLY: Condi Meets Pope, Goes To Iraq, Grows Antlers