Confederate General Bobby Jindal Invades New Orleans

Something something 'flagging presidential campaign'

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal took a firm stand in favor of protecting the proud history of a nation that instigated a failed rebellion, threw out the United States Constitution, lost a civil war that killed 2.5 percent of the American population, and after four years of war, completely ceased to exist -- 150 years ago. You see, Mayor Mitch Landrieu and City Council of New Orleans are considering removing four public monuments to the Confederacy, and Gov. Jindal, in a move that seems calculated to try to keep his bogged-down presidential candidacy alive, said Thursday that he won't let the city get away with that. He's a small-government conservative in favor of states' rights, but like so many Small-Gov types, he's discovered that local control is a terrible thing when it comes to cities doing things he doesn't like.

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Jindal's office released a statement explaining his commitment to the governor's Southern Heritage (not hate):

"Governor Jindal opposes the tearing down of these historical statues and he has instructed his staff to look into the Heritage Act to determine the legal authority he has as Governor to stop it," said Doug Cain, Jindal's spokesman, in a written statement[.]

As the New Orleans Times-Picayune points out, the Jindal team didn't exactly specify what "Heritage Act" the press release was talking about. We did a bit of searching for "Louisiana heritage act" and didn't find any particular law with that name, although there is a "Louisiana Historic Cemetery Preservation Act." But none of the monuments in question are in cemeteries. So maybe there is a law giving the governor power over city monuments, or maybe there isn't. This is, after all, a guy who's committed to keeping Planned Parenthood from selling babby parts by defunding pap smears, pregnancy tests, HIV testing, and breast cancer screenings at two Louisiana Planned Parenthood offices that don't perform abortions in the first place.

Thursday evening, the New Orleans Historic District Landmarks Commission voted to advise the city that the four monuments "may be removed," an advisory opinion that helps clear the way for a City Council vote.

And what precious parts of Southern Heritage would be lost if the city decides to remove the monuments? The biggest is a statue to Robert E. Lee, in Lee Circle, on a big ol' column:

We swiped this photo from David Duke's website, because there's someone who really does love his unhateful heritage; he says removing the monuments would be "cultural genocide."

There's also a statue of Jefferson Davis, looking very leaderly and pointing the way to the Lost Cause, and another of General PGT Beauregard, which looks like every other equestrian statue ever made:

And then there's this horror, the Battle of Liberty Place monument, which commemorates a failed military coup by former Confederates in 1874. The insurrectionists were a nice group that called themselves the "White League," and they overthrew the integrated Reconstruction government for three days before federal troops restored order. Or in the unskewed language of the monument, erected by happy racists in 1891 after Jim Crow had been firmly put in place:

So that one isn't even a Civil War monument -- it's a White Supremacy monument, and happy to call itself one.

Still, Jindal probably thinks he might get some primary support from his clinging to Confederate (and post-Reconstruction anti-black insurrection) symbols, so he has also refused calls for the state to stop issuing Confederate flag license plates as well. Who'd have guessed that one of the most ardent defenders of Confederate treason would be the son of immigrants from Punjab? Or maybe it isn't too surprising, considering the triumph of white supremacy in his own official portrait.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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