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WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! Etc. Good job, Wills, we are happy at ya for graduating from what your sainted mother describes as a "hair and skin academy," where you went on foreign exchanges (to Juarez we are guessing?) and visited "the sets of major media productions" (like Dancing With the Stars?) and did other stuff too. Also you are an "entrepreneur" with a strong work ethic, although we are not sure your mother knows what "entrepreneur" means, because to our knowledge you are not that. But it's cool! Nobody but your mother expects you to be! You are by far the best Palin girl, as your sister -- you remember her, the one who was always super nasty and bossy at you for no reason on that terrible teevee show you were on together? -- is a completely useless slug.


But your mom wrote some word salad at us, ABOUT EDUCATION, ON WHICH SHE HAS THOUGHTS, on her major media platform, Myface, and we are going to have to look at it now.

So okay, first Sarah Palin says some weird stuff trying to make Willow's beauty school seem fancier than it probably is? There is nothing wrong with going to beauty school, it is a perfectly cromulent trade, stop being so defensive about it, Sarah Palin! None of your other children go to school AT ALL.

And then she gets going on why vocational training is awesome (it is -- and if school districts didn't consistently track students of color into vocational programs no matter their potential, maybe we would still be allowed to have vocational programs!) and why not everybody has to go to college (we agree, and are also hugely saddened that the Department of Labor's awesome Job Corps job training program has had to suspend enrollment because of chronic underfunding from assholes like you) before spinning off into a paragraphs-long hatespeech where she class-wars all the rich bitches.

And I’m proud of the fact that I was able to pay for my degree myself and graduate debt free. See how times have changed? Back then I was able to work my way through college and pay as I went. I had to go to school part-time some semesters in order to work and intern full-time, so it took me five years instead of four to get my bachelor’s degree, for which I've been roundly criticized by the liberal media (but how many of those critics were shackled in debt after they perhaps gallivanted around the globe with their daddy’s credit card in their backpack before finally finishing college and snagging that gig at MSNBC?).

Dude, if you are still mad at Charlie and Katie for exposing how uncurious and uneducated you are, just READ A NEWSPAPER instead of being MAD THAT PEOPLE WENT TO COLLEGE, LIKE YOU DID ALSO. TOO.

And not to nitpick (of course to nitpick) but also the fact that you went to like nine colleges may have also had something to do with taking longer to finish, but we are not gonna pick on that because five years is fine. NOBODY CARES BUT YOU THAT YOU TOOK FIVE YEARS TO GRADUATE. Whatever. Again with the bizarre defensiveness, weird lady.

Anyway, good job working in that college debt is Nobumer's fault. Good Facebook post. A++ would Facebook again.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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