Congress Plans Crackdown on Whizzinators

whizz.jpgWhat's a Whizzinator? It's "an easy to conceal, easy to use urinating device with a very realistic prosthetic penis" that keeps your surrogate urine hot and life-like for up to 8 hours, so you can pass even the most stringent, under-observation drug tests. Or, as one fan puts it on the product's endlessly entertaining testimonial page, "We here at DEA division of Lockheed/Boeing have been on the lookout for the Whizzinator and our employees cheating, but the damn thing is so good, we can't catch them using it short of shaking after each use. Please take it off the market. Be patriotic." So far, the Whizzinator's creators have ignored that request, but apparently the patriots in Congress feel differently. Yesterday, the House Energy and Commerce Committee subpoenaed executives from the Whizzinator and two other companies that make similar products, and hearings will be held next week. Which, frankly, we couldn't be happier about, because we're pretty tired of border control, Social Security, and all the other important issues of the day. As far as we're concerned, until we adequately address the fake drug-cock problem, everything else is low-priority.

Lawmakers Object to Fake Penis for Drug Tests [Reuters, via Wizbangblog]


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