Oh god, what are you doing with your other hand, Steve?

Trigger warning for ew gross disgusting nasty stop it, just stop it, too late, here we go, GAHHHHHHHHHH:

The Republican representative from the Fried-Ethanol-On-A-Stick State has already pledged his monogamous undying NO HOMO love to Ted Cruz, whose stellar "principled conservative" values of "fuck pretty much everyone" align perfectly with King's. Except for the part where Cruz wasn't born in America, since Steve King HATES anyone who wasn't born in America, so we're not sure how he's made peace with that one. Maybe he's one of those Iowa idiots who believe Obama was born in another country but Cruz's mama popped him out right here in the old US of America.

[contextly_sidebar id="hCv8MYFYWQ3UUXrlKLddmGLPO75fUtI3"]However, Cruz's face is, objectively speaking, the punchiest face anyone ever wanted to punch, so we can see why King wants Cruz for president, but would much rather spurt his cow butter all over the South Carolina governor's hot, though suddenly liberal somehow (because conservatives are idiots, that's how) face.

Please don't speak any of your wussy liberal immigrant brown-skinned agenda, though, Nikki. Just stand there and look pretty. Real pretty. Yeah, right there, just like that.

At least until President Donald Trump has you deported, anyway.

[Erica Werner, AP congressional correspondent]


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