Wingnuts Spend Day Thinking About Lindsey Graham Naked, Blame Muslim Congresslady

Your Wonkette DGAF what Lindsey Graham does with his nasty bits. We have to write about all the ladies That Orange Idiot bumped his uglies with for work, and the last thing in the world we want to think about is the sex lives of any more evil, old Republicans. Clearly Senator Graham's sexual orientation is HIGHEST BIDDER, and that's all we have to say on the topic.

But we do care if Lindsey Graham's abrupt about-face on Donald Trump came about due to outside influence. Because in 2016, Lindsey Graham knew Donald Trump was a pathetic conman.

But the 2019 version pretends that the president's demented driblings are inspirational sermons and his dogged destruction of the post-war alliances that kept us out of a world war for 75 years is part of a grand strategic vision worthy of Churchill. FFS, yesterday Lindsey Graham voted in favor of allowing Oleg Deripaska's aluminum company to come off the sanctions list. Something's not right here.

So when new Congresswoman Ilhan Omar says, "They got to him," we're thinking she's not that far off the mark.

Indeed, as Richard Painter and Leanne Watt pointed out in a November Medium post, Graham's about-face can be traced to the second week of October 2017, when Lindsey Graham spent a couple of days on the links with the Golfer in Chief, and suddenly became his biggest fan. The guy who'd called Trump a "kook" and "bigot" and threatened "holy hell" if he fired Jeff Sessions just up and changed his mind.

Following their October 2017 tête-à-tête, Graham began to contradict himself in a way that was totally out of character for him. In November of 2017, the senator repudiated his earlier remarks on Trump's character, stating: "What concerns me about the American press is this endless, endless attempt to label [Trump] as some kind of kook, not fit to be President." And Graham now claims that he has "never heard him (Trump) make a single racist statement." And in August of 2018, Senator Graham defended Trump's desire to fire Jeff Sessions, insisting that the president is "entitled to an attorney general he has faith in."

And, as Painter and Watt point out, Lindsey Graham himself claims his campaign emails were hacked by the Russians. Although he doesn't have to go all the way to Russia to find someone who likes to trade on personal secrets. Donald Trump himself had a decades-long alliance with The National Enquirer. And lest we forget, his fixer Michael Cohen kept the story of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's domestic abuse allegations in his back pocket just in case he might need it some day.

We have no way of knowing what, if anything, people "have" on Lindsey Graham. But we're not going to be lectured on the wisdom of speculation from the party of birthers and Pizzagate truthers who have currently shut down the federal government because of a made-up border crisis that will only end when their leader gets to stick a few poles in the ground and pretend that he paid for them with confiscated pesos. THAT DOG WON'T HUNT.

The wingnuts are currently working themselves into a frothy lather of santorum over Omar's suggestion that Graham is somehow compromised. This asshole here got the ball rolling by fabricating a quote of Omar suggesting that Graham is being blackmailed for being gay. Which she's clearly not doing.

He's got a whole post going on some browser-busting site called Grabien, and Breitbart's picking up the baton for the next lap. WHAT. EVER.

None of this has a damn thing to do with Omar's actual words, or even their subtext. The wingers got all the mileage they can out of Rashida Tlaib's Motherfuckergate. They got their asses handed to them when they tried to shame Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for dancing. Gilletteghazi is basically played out. So now it's on to Ilhan Omar and her entirely made-up "homophobia." Next week they'll claim Ayanna Pressley doesn't recycle, Deb Haaland is on a fatwa to get Dan Snyder fired and rename the team the TeePees, and Sharice Davids once dated a boy in HS, so she's obviously just claiming to be gay for Sorosbux. Let's just cut to the chase here, shall we?

The guy's a dickhead, but at least he doesn't try to hide it.

The good news is that this shit's not working any more. Whatever digital advantage the edgelords once had, 2016 wised us up. The platforms still suck, of course, but young politicians know how to use them better.

Where Elizabeth Warren will be dogged for life by that stupid DNA story -- and Lindsey Graham will probably face rumors about being closeted for the rest of his career -- millennials shrug that bullshit off and keep right on moving. So let's stop crapping on them and give credit where credit is due. In the immortal words of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, "New party, who dis?"



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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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