Conservative Newspaper Editor Fired For Rude Headline About Putting Something In President's Butt

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If someone told you to go "shove it," you'd think that was pretty cute, right? Maybe you'd come back with a quick "up your nose with a rubber hose" and, tension defused, you'd ask if they got to second base with Mary Sue and how about going to the malt shop and do they really like Ike?

This is how we know you are not the Chattanooga Times Free Press, possibly the longest-named newspaper in Tennessee. The Chattanooga Times Free Press thinks that kind of talk is disgusting, and if you use such language in their pages, you'll be out on your posterior! Sadly not sadly, Drew Johnson, the generically named former editor of that paper's editorial page, found this out the hard way when he chose the headline "Take your jobs plan and shove it, Mr. President" for a confused and factually challenged wordpoop marking the occasion of Obama's visit to Chattanooga.

But leave it to the lame stream media to miss the REAL STORY here.

Actually, there are two REAL STORIES. One, the Chattanooga Times Free Press has printed headlines arguably more offensive than the one that got Johnson fired. And two, the actual substance of the "shove it" editorial is pure nonsense.

Re: the first, how is "Recapping the yapping: Reviewing Obama's visit to Chattanooga" less offensive than "shove it?" The president is a noisy animal, got it. Maybe the elided "up your anus/rectum" of "shove it" is the problem? But then what about "Laffer: Airport Authority shafts private enterprise" by noted napkin doodler Arthur Laffer? Isn't "shaft" universally understood to refer to "a turgid penis, commonly used for fucking?" And what about "Gonch: Fighting to remember America’s past?" GONCH?!? That's fucking gross, dudes!

Re: the second, the actual editorial in question is beyond stupid. It's mostly about the "Gig to Nowhere" which is apparently a thing where the Chattanooga public power utility EPB is offering fiber-optic internet and tv that "competes head-to-head against private companies." WHAT?! etc. Apparently this is a huge boondoggle because it cost money to set up, and it has "monthly billing costs that make the service unfeasible." Uh, ok, because from what we're seeing we can get fiber optic internet and tv for $110.48 per month. Our shitty Time Warner cable package is a mere dollar less than that. And excuse us, but how is this service both competing with private companies AND so expensive nobody's using it? Weird how that works, right?

But here's the dumbest part:

The Gig to Nowhere is a Smart Grid, a high tech local electricity infrastructure intended to improve energy efficiency and reduce power outages. After lobbying for, and receiving, $111.6 million in stimulus money from your administration, EPB decided to build a souped-up version of the Smart Grid with fiber optics rather than more cost-effective wireless technology."

Yeah we're sure this former newspaper editor knows better than the power company what kind of infrastructure to build. And how TERRIBLE that Chattanooga is going to use this fiber optic network to improve energy efficiency! It's probably just like Hitler.

Now, it would be really damning if Johnson cited something that showed how the "Smart Grid" doesn't actually improve energy efficiency. But he doesn't, of course. But oh, here's some "news": "Smart Grid Saves EPB Chattanooga $1.4 Million in One Storm." See, JUST LIKE HITLER!

And of course, the top comment on the Breitbart article:

You keep using that word...

[Breitbart / Chattanooga Times Free Press / greentechmedia.com]

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