Corey Lewandowski Jettisoned, Spurned, Fired, Blowed Off, Discharged, Forsook, And Marooned!

US of America News
Corey Lewandowski Jettisoned, Spurned, Fired, Blowed Off, Discharged, Forsook, And Marooned!

We began this day with Corey Lewandowski getting the boot from Donald Trump's MAGA Action PAC, just because a whole bunch of people told Politico they saw Corey in Vegas this weekend drunking and sexually harassing and being generally "vile and disgusting" all over a married Trump donor who did not consent to that. ("Vile and disgusting" were her words.) Thoughts and prayers for however long Lewandowski is fun-employed from THAT particular job, but we are guessing he'll get it back as soon as Trump thinks nobody is paying attention.

Then we discussed how South Dakota GOP Gov. Kristi Noem is CATEGORICALLY DENYING all the "rumors" going around right now and saying they are "old, tired attacks on conservative women." She wasn't referring to her other current controversies that involve possible nepotistic corruption, but rather the fact that an influential MAGA blog did an old tired attack on conservative women by officially accusing her and Lewandowski of having a severe case of EDS (Extramarital Dickpants Syndrome) for each other. It is NOT TRUE, Noem says, just like any other scandal that ever comes out about her is NOT TRUE.

And now we end the day with those same two characters, as the Washington Sex-aminer is reporting that Gov. Noem has JETTISONED Corey Lewandowski as an adviser!

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem has cut ties with top political adviser Corey Lewandowski, a close confidant of former President Donald Trump, amid disturbing allegations of sexual misconduct.

Disturbing allegations! (About an event at which Noem was also present. Did she not know about the disturbing allegations before now?)

Noem, considered a dark horse contender for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, announced Thursday through a spokesman that Lewandowski would no longer be advising her political efforts or otherwise be associated with her operation. The spokesman emphasized that Lewandowski was never a paid adviser, either by Noem's campaign or the governor's office.

"Corey was always a volunteer, never paid a dime — campaign or official," Noem's communications director in her gubernatorial office, Ian Fury, told the Washington Examiner. "He will not be advising the governor in regard to the campaign or official office."

That's right, Corey Lewandowski has to GET OUT, which should be EASY since Kristi Noem HARDLY KNEW HIM in the FIRST PLACE and NEVER GAVE HIM MONEY.

Other websites are saying Noem "ditches" Lewandowski and "HE'S OUT" (Daily Beast), and that Noem "won't use" him as an adviser anymore (CNBC). Everybody loves verbs! They're also noting that Kristi Noem is not the only one kicking Lewandowski to the curb right now. There's also Nebraska gubernatorial candidate Charles Herbster, who is saying prayers for Lewandowski, while also telling him to GTFO:

"I have known Corey Lewandowski since 2015 when I was an early and steadfast supporter of Donald J. Trump for President," Herbster, a wealthy agricultural executive, said in a statement. "Most recently, Corey has been one of my senior campaign advisors as I run for governor of the state of Nebraska. I've asked Corey to step back from this role. Corey and his family will remain in my prayers."

All fun and games until the Herbster kicks you out of his party and deletes your endorsement of him on Twitter.

Is there anybody left who loves Corey Lewandowski?

Or does that question assume facts not in evidence, namely that somebody actually loved him before?

Oh well guess some things are just unknowable, we'll update you next time this story gets grosser, OPEN THREAD!

[Washington Examiner / Politico]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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