Corey Lewandowski Will Go Away For Low, Low Price Of GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY

Trump

Here's your latest update on Corey Lewandowski is not fired YOU ARE FIRED, after reports came out that he sexually harassed and just generally verbally abused and physically grabbed at a Trump donor named Trashelle Odom at a fundraiser at a Las Vegas Benihana. When we last left the story, former Florida attorney general Pam Bondi and Kimberly Guilfoyle had started a new Trump PAC called "Make America Great Again, Again!" after Lewandowski refused to leave "Make America Great Again Action," the main Trump PAC he ran with Bondi. Donald Trump has been trying to fire him, but Corey just refused to leave, apparently, because he's that kind of guy.

Now the Daily Beast has a bit more about what went down with the attempted firing and Lewandowski's refusal to understand that "NO you don't work here anymore means NO." According to the report, Corey was willing to go, if they just gave him hundreds of thousands of dollars.


What followed [after Trumpworld started trying to fire Corey], the sources described, was what amounted to stages of denial and bargaining before ultimately being abandoned by the world he claimed to dominate.

It's like the stages of grief, but for garbage human beings who can't take a hint.

As the Beast explains, Corey first denied he had done what the donor said he did, much of which was apparently witnessed by many. Then he "resisted leaving." And then he started making generous offers to get people to give him all their money in exchange for him accepting their offer to fire him:

Lewandowski [...] subsequently settled on pitching Trumpworld a not-so-modest proposal: in exchange for his resignation, the super PAC and the pro-Trump team would pay him a large sum of money to go away. Two of the knowledgeable sources said the former 2016 Trump campaign manager's demand was for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

That is just ... wow. We have zero idea what ever gave Corey Lewandowski the idea he was that valuable to anyone, especially in Donald Trump's orbit, where literally anyone is expendable if they get in Trump's way. However, the Beast notes that way back yonder in 2016, the first time Corey was exiled from Trumpland — for not completely different reasons! — he got a $20,000 per month severance. Maybe he was thinking, well, they paid him LAST time, so why not THIS time?

Anyway, they told him to fuck off. The original PAC has $6.58 million right now, but they told him to fuck off.

"It doesn't matter if he'd asked for five dollars, it wasn't going to happen," one individual familiar with the situation noted bluntly.

And that fuck off was coming from the top. Y'all know the biggest grifter in the US of A considers every dollar held by any PAC even remotely related to his name to be HIS DOLLAR. He is not about to watch Corey Lewandowski walk away with HIS DOLLAR.

Shortly after Lewandowski made his request, Trump was briefed, according to two of the sources with knowledge of the matter, and scoffed at the idea of paying Lewandowski a large sum of cash to be ousted.

Sorry, Corey. Sounds like literally everyone hates you, and Donald Trump feels entitled to that money that is not technically his money.

Having told Corey to fuck off, Pam Bondi et al. just decided to move on with life without him, according to the Beast, "[i]nstead of grappling with the notoriously belligerent operative." And that's where "Make America Again Again Again A Bunch More Times Again" was born. The Beast notes that the new group signed its first press release as "the ONLY Trump-approved super PAC," which we guess was their way of saying "if you get an email from COREY fuck COREY we hate COREY don't give your money to COREY."

The Beast reports that the $6.58 million held by MAGA Action is supposed to be transferred to MAGA Again, the non-Corey PAC, any old day now, but also notes that if Corey can still control any of the purse strings of the original PAC, that might not go as smoothly as everybody would like it to.

So this shitshow is not over. It never is.

[Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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