Corzine to Reduce Murder, Increase Crime
Wonkette Intern Extraordinare Greg Wasserstrom continues to surprise us by neither bringing us our coffee as specified in his blood oath nor being decidedly unfunny to make us look better. But, without coffee, we're too lazy to crack down anyway.
I just have one question for Jon Corzine, governor of the State of New Fucking Jersey and it is this: What, sir, would Jesus do? Would he sign into law a bill banning the death penalty, the fucking death penalty, the most important tool in the law enforcement tool box? The verdict is in, Corzine, the verdict is in, and Huckabee and I know what Jesus really wants. But go ahead, governor. Sign away the lives of your citizens, as now there will be no deterrent to killing people in your state. But plow forward sir, you know what's best. Go ahead and reverse a 42-year tradition of executing those individuals who, after being charged with a capital crime, were assigned a public defender for lack of access to an actual, non-poor-person lawyer and therefore convicted. Go ahead and spare those from death who would otherwise be exonerated by DNA evidence. That's just so American and everything. As for me, I'm on the next bus to Moscow because what's the fucking difference?