June 01, 2006 09:05 AM
Coupla Trust-Bulding Exercises Oughtta Straighten Everything Out
Don't worry, Iraqi civilians -- our boys just forgot their "core values." Happens to the best of us. A little "core values" training -- like a corporate retreat, or a language refresher course, or going back and re-reading your old notes from Organic Chem -- oughtta straighten everything right up. We imagine the training being a lot like the first half of Full Metal Jacket, only with R. Lee Ermey screaming "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive 'core value' training, you will be a weapon. A weapon of humanism. You will be a secular humanist in the Enlightenment tradition praying for reasoned discourse. Until then, you're maggots."