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Covered, Kissed, Dead

  • Former Attorney General John Ashcroft will pay a visit to his old pals on the House Judiciary Committee and lie about how his firm won a no-bid contract. It will be a beautiful and heartfelt reunion. [New York Times]
  • A lapse in the wiretapping law leaves phone companies wondering who will cover their asses now. [New York Times]
  • From flushing toilets to too-short ropes, the mortgage crisis and prospective bailout has spawned a number of bad metaphors. And the Bush Administration is confident that helping anyone will ultimately hurt everyone, so best to help no one so that everyone wins. [Washington Post]
  • Style columnist Tom Shales, clearly stung by recent suggestions that the press has been too soft on Barack Obama, retaliates by openly lavishing praise on Obama's latest debate performance. [Washington Post]
  • Robert Byrd, who has served in the Senate since the end of the American Civil War, has been admitted to Walter Reed hospital for "observation". They want to make sure he's still alive. [The Hill]
  • Barry Obama's coattails will be longer than Hillary's because girls don't wear coats, obviously. [Politico]
  • John Boehner gives his fellow Republicans a stern talking-to about fundraising, and acknowledges their "asses" are "dead." [Politico]
  • John McCain is ... winning? [Los Angeles Times]
  • Well, well well. Look what party suddenly thinks Mexicans are so important again. [Washington Times]
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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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