COVID-Spreader-In-Chief Ready To Make America Sick Again

Trump

You might recall that Donald Trump fessed up to testing positive for the coronavirus on shortly after midnight on Friday, October 2, also known as “The Day Of The Great Karma." He was hospitalized later Friday evening and was released back into general population Monday night after a long weekend of whining. He very well may still be contagious, as White House physician Dr. Leo Spaceman Sean Conley has avoided using any combination of the words “the president has tested negative."

Trump is a sick man, moreso than usual. He reportedly considered reassuring Americans he was fit to lead with a Willy Wonka riff where he looks like he's not all there, but then suddenly dazzles us with his youthful vitality, by ripping open his shirt and pretending he's Superman. He was open to a broad range of intellectual property theft.

The New York Times reports with a straight face:

In several phone calls last weekend from the presidential suite at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Mr. Trump shared an idea he was considering: When he left the hospital, he wanted to appear frail at first when people saw him, according to people with knowledge of the conversations. But underneath his button-down dress shirt, he would wear a Superman T-shirt, which he would reveal as a symbol of strength when he ripped open the top layer. He ultimately did not go ahead with the stunt.

Dr. Conley cleared the president Saturday for an “active schedule," which for Trump means rage-tweeting and attending hate rallies. The “doctor" was pleased to report that Trump was "no longer considered a transmission risk to others," according to "currently recognized standards." He said the president's symptoms had “improved," which is different from saying he no longer has symptoms. He also claimed Trump was "fever-free for well over 24 hours." That could've meant his last fever was 26 hours earlier. Trump had been roaming the White House maskless since Monday night. He was working in the Oval Office or at least sitting behind the Resolute Desk after Wednesday. This is not encouraging. However, Trump boasted on Twitter that his doctors claimed he was fully immune to COVID-19, which obviously didn't happen. (His tweet was yanked for spreading "misleading and potentially harmful" information.)


Earlier on Saturday, Trump had another illegal campaign event on White House grounds. This was his first major public appearance since COVID-ing, and he delivered a low-energy, 18-minute speech from the Blue Room balcony to a bunch of suckers gathered on the South Lawn. This was billed as a “peaceful protest for law and order," but Trump mostly just slandered Joe Biden and claimed antifa was hiding under everyone's beds.

"We cannot allow our country to become a socialist nation," Mr. Trump said, as he tried to infuse his campaign with urgency in the final weeks before Election Day. "We cannot let that happen. That's what would happen. Or worse."

Ooga-booga!

The White House sent out 2,000 invitations, but only a few hundred people showed, many of whom had their travel expenses paid for by Candace Owens's so-called Blexit group. ABC News obtained an email from Owens that screamed in all caps that "EVERYONE MUST BRING A MASK TO BE ALLOWED ENTRY ONTO THE WHITE HOUSE GROUNDS." However, no one was required to wear a mask at the rally, but they were instructed that "EVERYONE MUST WEAR A BLEXIT T-SHIRT (Which will be given to you ahead of the event) — no exceptions." The combination of blue Blexit shirts and red MAGA hats made it look like a sea of coronavirus was flooding the White House lawn.

Owens had billed the rally on Instagram as an "anti-Black Lives Matter event," which is a true statement considering Black and brown folks were clumped together unsafely while listening to Trump's dictator cosplay rant. After attending Trump's Tulsa rally, Herman Cain joined the Blexit movement in a more permanent sense.

Trump plans to hold a campaign rally in Florida today, and he's reportedly asked his advisers to book his traveling clown show every day for the remainder of the campaign. The irony is that he's getting curb stomped in the polls because voters, specifically seniors and women of all ages, don't believe he's taking COVID-19 seriously. He would have a better shot right now if he just stayed in bed, but that wouldn't satisfy his monstrous ego.

[ABC News / New York Times]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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