Crazy Times For Walnuts McCain and America

Nobody is too enthused about this whole McCain deal, and time is slowing to a crawl as the Voting Public and News Media realize they need to pretend to care about this until a week after Halloween, which seems like 10,000,000 years away, and may never happen anyway, because of the Nuclear War with Iran or whatever Cheney's working on, for an encore. But Juan McCain is out there all the time, presumably, doing things, campaigning to his constituency (in Mexico), etc. Let's check in, because there has been a Campaign Shake Up!!!


  • New boss for the Old Walnuts Express! It's Steve Schmidt, a completely bald Rove henchman. He is hiring a bunch of Fox News producers, because the Republicans are all still cringing over that awful Louisiana speech the night Obama clinched the nomination. "During that speech, Mr. McCain stood in front of a green background facing a low-energy crowd of supporters, providing a startling contrast with Mr. Obama‚Äôs supporters." [Politico/NYT]
  • McCain likes to go to other countries, where the people are tinier, because he's just a little fellow. So he keeps going to these countries, such as Mexico and Colombia, even though they aren't really voting that much in the U.S. elections. His staff doesn't actually want him campaigning in Mexico or the Congo all the time, but he's such a crazy old bastard and nobody wants to get yelled at, either. [New York Times]
  • One reason Juan McCain loves Latin America is that he might get to rough up a Communist. During a 1987 diplomatic mission to Nicaragua, McCain allegedly manhandled some dude in Daniel Ortega's Sandinista government. What a dick! An old, cranky dick. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
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