Creepy Milo Dude Gets To Write Whole Book About How Much He Loves Black Dicks

Did you hear he fucks black guys? He fucks black guys, and he wants you to know that.

Wonkette is waiting with bated breath for Milo Yiannopoulos, that very edgy, non-PC "alt-right" white supremacist Breitbart homosexual who is jolly fond of penises of the African-American sort, to pen the autobiography for which he has just been given a $250,000 advance from a Simon & Schuster imprint, according to the Hollywood Reporter:

"I met with top execs at Simon & Schuster earlier in the year and spent half an hour trying to shock them with lewd jokes and outrageous opinions. I thought they were going to have me escorted from the building -- but instead they offered me a wheelbarrow full of money," Yiannopoulos told THR.

Oh, how exciting and groundbreaking it is to hear that a big book publisher might give a right-winger a book deal. It's probably because he's so controversial!

PAUSE POST, because we think we have just received an advance copy of the book, via a funny Twitter internet person. Milo does not have Twitter no more, because he's a bad person, so he probably hasn't seen this:

Just kidding, that is a make-believe conversation between Milo and John Boehner and Ben Carson, based pretty much on exactly how Milo is.

Did you know Milo, the homosexual, is into black dick? He will tell you all about it in his new book, because we're pretty sure every other chapter will be about that.

Possible chapter titles:

  • If I'm So Racist, Then What Am I Sitting And Spinning On Right Now, SPOILER IT IS A BLACK DICK, BECAUSE THAT'S MY FAVORITE
  • I'm Burning This Rainbow Flag To Make A Real Point, For Sure, And Then I Will Go Do Activities With Black Dicks
  • Oh Look At Me, I Wroted A Controversial Breitbart Article About How Ladies Shouldn't Be Allowed To Use Washing Machines Or Something, Oh Boy, My Schtick Has Not Gotten Tired Yet At All!
  • Let Me Do Some Original Poetry At You, That I Copied From The Liner Notes Of Tori Amos's Boys For Pele Record
  • Know What's Gross? Feminists And Gays And Fat People And Leslie Jones And All The Other Lady Ghostbusters Too
  • Know What's Not Gross? My Daddy-Complex Obsession With Donald Trump, Whom I Call "Daddy."
  • I Don't Think Black Lives Matter, But I Think Black Dicks Matter, Because LET ME TELL YOU A SURPRISE ABOUT HOW I LOVE BLACK PENISES IN MY BOTTOM.

Wonkette simply can't wait to never publish our review of this book, since we will not be reading it, on account of ZZZZZZZZZZ.

[The Hollywood Reporter]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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