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* The "creepy and awe-inspiring" Philly band A Sunny Day in Glasgow brings their indie-pop sound to DC9. $8, 9 p.m. [DC9]


* An "All-American Beer Picnic"? So what if it happens in a windowless basement? Eight hard-to-find American beers and a lot of pizza. $60, 6:30-10:30 p.m. [City Guide]

* Remember Morrissey and all those tears you cried while listening to "Suedehead"? Now's your chance to relive that feeling -- though hopefully with better hair. Tickets start at $30, show at 8 p.m. [Wolf Trap]

* 50 Years of Janus Films has almost reached its end. Catch the final movie, "High and Low" tonight at 7 p.m. [AFI Silver Theatre and Cultural Center]

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen's week is going so great, she's earned herself one of Wonkette's prize-winning GO FUCK YOURSELFS! (Prize awarded to Wonkette by Wonkette.)

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