Some unscrupulous facts on the internet want you to believe that Colorado's almost-governor Dan Maeswas never a secret agent, perhaps because Dan Maes told the news reporters that his famous stories about being an undercover policeman were not actually "true," per se. And they believed him? Ha ha, fools. Guess what: Dan Maes lied about lying about being a secret agent in a place actually (maybe?) called "Liberal, Kansas." He is a secret agent and has always been so.

Here's our hero, Dan Maes, reading his secret agent message from a discreet yet extremely helpful note card, or maybe Glenn Beck's chalkboard:

Dan Maes is just an "average, middle-class guy." But also Dan Maes is a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma which is really a Tandem bicycle conspiracy. [The American Independent]